Remorse
by Lisa Anne1
Summary: What if season 2 ended differently? Buffy doesn’t end up leaving, Angel doesn’t go to hell, well, he does but read the story to find out how it all happens. Story is now complete and reformatted, please Read and review!
1. Default Chapter

Title:  Remorse  
Author: Lisa Anne  
Rating: G-PG..I mention some weapons...maybe PG?  I don't know.  
Summary: I was watching "Becoming 2" the other day and an idea popped into my head.  It's a twist on the episode.  Buffy doesn't end up leaving, Angel doesn't go to hell, pretty much everything else that happened in season 2 has happened.   I really don't like the name of the title so it will probably be changed as I go along.    
Spoilers: No spoilers..just dialogue from the end of "Becoming 2"  
Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own any of these people (if I did Buffy wouldn't be ending this season).  Also, the beginning dialogue is from the end of "Becoming 2"  Email: buffygal8880@yahoo.com ....Please send me feedback because this is the second fanfic,. This is my first multi-chapter fanfic.   
  
Chapter 1 

"Buffy?  What's going on?  Where are we?  I don't remember?" Angel asked startled.

            Buffy brought down her sword.  She looked at Angel with disbelief.  "Angel?"

            "Your hurt," Angel told Buffy as he grew closer to her and observed her cut.  "Buffy, God, I feel like I haven't seen you in months.  Oh God, everything is so muddled.  I-oh! Oh Buffy."  Buffy and Angel both had tears running down their cheeks.  

            Just as they embraced one another Acathla began to rumble and began to open.  Angel pulled away from Buffy.  "What's wrong?"

            Buffy tried to reassure herself as she touched Angel's lips with her fingers.  "Shhhh, don't worry about it."  Angel kisses Buffy as the vortex began to open.   The tears in her eyes continued to flow like a river.  "I love you" was all she could manage to say.

            Angel was staring into her eyes and also said, "I love you." 

            "Close your eyes," Buffy told Angel.  As he closed his eyes, Buffy kisses him one more time.  A small smile appears on Angel's face.  Buffy picked up the sword and was about to stab Angel.  Tears flowed from Buffy's green eyes again.  She screamed, "I can't do this!" and dropped the sword.  She walked away from Angel and then fell to her knees.

            "Buffy, what is it?" Angel asked.  He was then on his knees next to the only woman he had ever loved.

            Buffy stared into Angel's big brown eyes as her lips trembled.  "You-you didn't notice the orangish-yellow light coming from that rocky thingy?  That's Acathla, he's going to suck us all into hell.  There's one way to stop him but-" tears rolled off her face as she hugged Angel.  "I don't want to do that."

            Angel pulled away from Buffy.  Both of his hands were on Buffy's shoulders.  He looked deep into her green eyes and tried not to cry for her.  "What is it?  Why is this happening? H-how do we stop it?"

            Angel wiped Buffy's tears away.  Her sad eyes looked back into his eyes.  This started because of Angelus, and you- Angelus wanted to destroy the world.  Your blood opened the vertex.  It's the only thing that can stop it.  Angel, I have already lost you once, I don't want you to die.  I want you here, with me.  I've missed you.  I love you."  Buffy explained as a fresh set of tears found their way to her face.  She buried herself into Angel's chest.

            Angel's jaw was wide open.  The last six months or so had been just a blur.  The last memory that he had was the night when he and Buffy each shared one another and when they showed their love for each other.   He remembered waking up and watching Buffy sleep.  That was it.  He briefly remembered Spike and Drusilla. 

            He pulled Buffy from his chest.  His tears too flowed from his eyes and reached the floor.  He grabbed both of Buffy's hands and kissed them.  He then let her tears flow into his hands as he cupped her cheeks.  

            "Listen, I have done enough already.  I have to do thi-"  He was interrupted by Buffy shaking her head.

            "No, Angel, you'll die…no, I won't let you do it."

            "Shhh, Buffy, It's alright.  I can just imagine what I could have done as Angelus.  God, all of the pain I cau-.  It doesn't matter now.  I'm ready, if I have to do this to keep everyone safe, if I have started this already, I'm going to finish it.  I have to do this."

            Buffy shook her head again.  He stood up before she could say or do anything.  In the matter of a few seconds, Angel was gone.  The orange-yellow became dim and then disappeared.

            Buffy was weak and feel to the floor sobbing.  She was alone.  After a few moments, she picked herself up.  She stared at the sculpture of Acaltha.  She then stood up and searched for something hard, like a shovel or an ax.  She found a pick ax and began to hack away at Acaltha.  First she hit his mouth, then his eyes and then she aimed towards his neck.  He was in many pieces.  Buffy then stopped and she began to cry again.  She cried very loudly.  She dropped the pick ax and another piece of Acaltha feel to the ground.

            Finally, with no tears left, Buffy began to walk away from the whole thing.  She couldn't stand looking around where Angel was just standing less than ten minutes ago.  She walked out into the small garden where about a half hour ago she and Angelus were fighting and probably would have fought to the death if they kept at it.  The sun was beginning to rise when she heard a thumbing sound coming from the room she just left.   She wondered if by destroying Acathla she somehow opened the vertex again.  She ran in and saw Angel lying on the floor.

            "Angel?"  She whispered.  "Angel, is-, is that you?"  She asked, as she grew closer to him. 

Looking up with tears in his eyes, he answered, "Buffy?"

Buffy ran and sat next to Angel.  She cradled him in her arms.  "Angel!" She said as she kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his nose and then his lips.   "Why are you here?  Why did you come back?"

"They didn't want me.  The demons in the Hell dimensions didn't want me.  They could spell my soul and didn't want me.    Oh Buffy, I am so happy to be here…with you.

"Me too," Buffy said as they shared more kisses.  Buffy finally helped Angel to stand up.  He was weak.  She helped him to a near by chair.

            "Angel, I love you, I do and I am glad that you are here with me and your you…your not Angelus any more, but I have to see how the others are.  Giles, Xander, Willow, I have to know they are alright."

            "All right?  Did I hurt them?"

            Buffy shook her head.  "Angelus, he-well, did horrible things.  He tortured Giles and-"

            "Is he alive?" Angel asked afraid to find out the answer.

            "I don't know.  Xander came with me to get him out of here and- well, I know they made it out, they aren't here."

            "And Willow and the others?"

            "Oz and Cordy are okay, they didn't get hurt.  Willow is in the hospital with head injuries.  She was conscious the last time I spoke to her. Kendra is dead."

Angel shook his head with disbelief.  How could he have hurt so many people and not remember?   "Angelus did all of that?"      

            "No, Drusilla.  She and some vamps went into the library.  I was on my way to-here, Kendra and the others were staying at the library.  Drusilla and the vamps kidnapped Giles and hurt the others.  She personally killed Kendra.  The police-oh my God! The police! They are out looking for me.  They think it was me who did all of that  I….I just ran off."

            Angel was in a trance.  He was old enough to be every ones ancestors, but he cared about all of them as if they were all his family.  He loved them, even Xander.  He was very upset that he hurt all of them.  "And Jenny?  Did  she get out?"

            He didn't know Jenny Calendar that well.  All he knew was that she helped his friends out and that Giles loved her.  

            Buffy felt the color leave her face.  Angel really didn't remember what happened.  "Angel, Jenny is dead.  She has been dead for months.  Angelus killed her.  He snapped her neck because sh-she was trying to get your-his soul back." 

            Tears found their way back to Angel's eyes.  He felt true remorse and he was truly sorry.  "Oh my god.  I'm-I'm sorry.  I didn't kno-"

            Buffy knelt in front of him.  She brought her fingers to his lips.  Shhhh….it's all right, it's all over.  It wasn't you."   She said as she held his hand.  "Angel, why don't you get some rest.  I'll check on the others.  I'll come back with some blood from the butcher shop."

            Buffy helped Angel to bed in another room.  She covered him up and stayed with him until he fell asleep.  She kissed his head before she went out in search of her friends.            

*****What did you think?  Please send me feedback!!!  I am working on future chapters as we speak!!!*****


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

            Buffy left the mansion and headed towards her home on Revello Drive.  It was close.  She walked quickly and cautious as she tried to look out for the police.

            When she made it to her home, she was noticed her mother's car wasn't in the driveway.  Buffy was relived.  She took a quick shower and changed her clothes.  She brushed her long blonde hair into a ponytail.  She then grabbed a hat from the mirror of her vanity.  She put her ponytail on the top of her head and then placed the hat on top of her head. She hated the look but it was all that she could do at that moment to try and hide.  She had to go to the hospital and visit her friends.

            She made it to the hospital quickly.  She was on her way towards Willow's room first.  As she began walking towards the room, she felt a tap on her shoulder.  She turned around and before her was Xander.  His arm was in a cast and a sling.  Buffy threw her arms around him as she began t cry. 

            "I'm so happy to see you!" How is everyone?

            Xander let go off Buffy.  He took his uninjured hand and removed Buffy's hat.  "I told the police that you had nothing to do with the attacks last night.  I told them that you were going to meet all of us for a study date and Giles was going to tutor us.  I gave some bogus description of some man that they will never mind because, hey, he doesn't exist."  Xander explained as he hugged Buffy again.

            "How is everyone?"  Buffy asked once again when their embrace was broken.

            "Willow is good, she's improving.   She may get to go home soon."

            "And Giles?"

            "Giles is-oh Buff, he's in ICU.  No one will tell me what is going on with him,, we don't know how he is doing.  He was so weak by the time we go to the hospital and he had lost so much blood."

            "Did they feed off of him?"

            "No, but I think he was tortured.  His hands were tired so tight that they were almost purple when I found him.  I think Angel or someone used a whip on him because of the marks on his arms.  They definitely used something on him, he was bruised pretty badly.  When I found him, he didn't want to come with me because he thought I was make believe.  He was delirious when wee got to the hospital."

            Buffy closed her eyes.  She didn't want to begin to cry again.  She wanted to tell Xander that Angel was alive and that he was good now and was truly sorry for the pain Angelus had caused, even if he didn't remember doing anything.  That wasn't the time or place to even bring up Angel's name.

            "I want to see him Xander, bring me to see Giles.:

            ""I'll go with you to the ICU.  Willow is still sleeping.

            Xander put his free arm around Buffy's shoulders ass they walked into the elevator together.  He wanted to know how she killed Angel and if he hurt her in anyway but he decided that topic would be saved for another day.  

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out of it.  They left the quiet of the elevator and entered the chaos of the ICU floor.   Beeps form machines were going off all around them.   The chatter of the doctors and nurses at the nurse's station cluttered Buffy's head.

Xander led Buffy to the privet room.  It was dark and pretty quiet.  Buffy was startled to see Giles in he bed.  His face was bruised and he had little cuts around his eyes.  His arms had cuts all over them.

"The doctor said that possibly his eye glasses were broke while he was still wearing them.  There was glass all around his eyes.  The doctor removed all of it.  He said he was lucky that none of the glass had gotten into his eyes."  Xander explained.  "I'm so glad that Angel is dead.  I'm glad that you killed him."

"Xander-"

"No Buffy.  Look around you.  Look at what he did to everyone.  I'm not trying to be cruel but he deserved to die."

            Buffy had no time to explain.  A cheerful nurse came in and checked on Giles.

"Do either of you know someone named Buffy?"

Xander and Buffy exchanged looks.  "I'm Buffy."

The nurse smiled.  "Mr. Giles was calling for you in his sleep last night.  He-"

"Is he conscious?"  Xander asked.

"Yes, he is just heavily medicated at the moment.  He is in a lot of pain but he is going to make it.  Eh will pull through.  He just needs a little healing time."  The burnet nurse explained.

Buffy and Xander both looked at each other again.  Both had tears streaming down their faces.  Xander finally spoke p.  "So he's going to live then?"

The nurse touched Xander's hand.  "Yes, he'll be all right.  Why don't you two come back right before he takes his next dosage of medicine?  That way you can talk to him for your selves."      

Xander and Buffy thanked the nurse and told her they would return around ten.  


	3. Chpater three

Chapter Three

"Buffy! I'm so glad you are here!"  Willow exclaimed as she threw her arms around her best friend.

"I'm glad you are good Wil.  I'm glad everyone is all right-, well, is alive.  When do you go home?"

"Tomorrow.  I can't wait.   I hate this place, it gives me the creeps."

Buffy smiled.  "I can understand that."

"I am going to get some coffee, can I get either one of you two ladies something to drink?"  Xander asked his best friends.

"I would love a coffee, thank you Xand."  Buffy said.

  "I'm good, thank you anyways though."  Willow told Xander before he walked out of the room.

"I'm so glad your okay Wil.  I-"tears filled Buffy's eyes again.  She didn't thin she had any tears left in her to cry. 

Willow looked down at her white blanket on her bed.  "He didn't get it back?"

Buffy looked up.  She didn't know what to say.  She was shocked as the thought of Willow knowing something that she hadn't told Buffy before.  Buffy wiped her eyes again.  "Wil, you're my best friend.  What I am about to tell you, you can't tell anyone, not even Xander."

"Okay Buffy, you can tell me anything, you know that."

"Well, Angel is alive.  The vertex opened and poof, he changed.  He didn't remember anything about the last few months.  He was worried about you guys.  He-he didn't know what Angelus did.  He changed Willow."

Willow straightened herself up.  "Wait Buffy, you mean to tell me that Angel is alive?  And he changed?  Changed as in-"

 "He has his soul."

Willow smiled.  "It worked!"

"What worked?"

            "The spell.  Buffy, the spell to restore Angel's soul, it worked!  It-it was Ms. Calendar's spell, on her disk, the yellow one.  The one we found on the floor –wait, the vertex opened?  Why haven't we all been sucked into Hell?" 

Buffy explained what happened following the opening of the vertex and then explained about Angel coming back.  "I-I didn't know you were trying the spell again, when?"

"Last night.  Oz and Cordy helped.  We did it in the hospital.  Didn't Xander tell you?"

"Xander knew?  He didn't say anything!"

"Buffy, I told him to tell you."

Just then Xander came back into Willow's room.  He balanced a tray with two coffees on it for him and Buffy.

Willow looked at him with her dark eyes.  "You knew" was all that she said in her angry tone of voice.

 "Yes I knew, of course I knew," he whispered into Buffy's ear.  "What did I know?"

Buffy stood up and tried to remain calm.  "You knew that Willow was working on the spell to restore Angel's soul."

Xander didn't say anything at first.  He stared at Buffy before he found words.  "Buffy, does it matter now?  I mean he's-"

Buffy began walking towards the door.  "You should have told me Xander.  Willow I will be back in a little bit."

Buffy took the stairs to the ICU.  She walked to Giles room and saw the cheerful nurse outside of his room checking a chart.  "Hi Buffy.  Mr. Giles is awake now."  She smiled.

    "Thank you."  Buffy told the nurse as she returned her smile.

As Buffy walked into Giles' room again, it was different.  The blinds and curtains were drawn which made the room lighter.  The sun shone in from the window.  Buffy walked towards the bed and looked at Giles.  His eyes were barely opened and he squinted to look at his visitor.

"Buffy?"  He asked.

Buffy took Giles hand and cried again.

"Don't….don't cry.  I'm…it's al…..okay." he told her as he struggled to finish his sentence.  

Buffy wiped her eyes with her free hand.  She wanted to tell Giles everything.  She wanted to tell him that Angel was alive, but he was good.  Giles was in so much pain that she didn't even want to mention Angel's name.

"You look good." Buffy lied.

A faint smile found it's way to Giles' face.  Yes Buffy, I suppose.  Are you….you all right?  Are you hurt?"

"Yes, I'm fine, good, healthy, probably better than all of you guys combined.  Oh God Giles, I almost lost all of my friends and you."

A smile found its way to Giles' face.  "Buffy, I…I'm offended.  After all we have been through you don't consider me a friend?"

Buffy shock her head.  "Don't you know?  I mean, haven't you figured it out yet?  No your not my friend, your so much more.  You've been there for me when the others haven't or couldn't, and God Giles, I have given you nothing but attitude.  I give you more attitude than I give my own mother.  You know so much more about me than my mother does, Giles.  You-you were willing to give up your own life for me with the Master and….and you never one blamed me for Jenny's-"

"But Buffy that wasn't"

"Giles, my point being is that I have a tremendous amount of respect for you.  When I first came to Sunnydale, you picked up the pieces of my life.  You…you became a father to me.  I have rebelled against you-"

Giles interrupted.  "Rebelled?  I wouldn't exactly call…call it rebelling."

"Well, not listening to you and God Giles, how many times have I teased you?  I have never told you that I appreciate you.  I never told you that I love you.  Giles you are like my father, except you are better, you've stuck around.  Thank you."

Giles squeezed Buffy's hand.  He didn't know what else to say.  Tears rolled down his checks.  "Buffy, I think that is…is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to…to me.  That is the greatest complement I have ever been given.  Buff-"  Giles stopped and and moaned in pain.

"Giles. Are you-"

  Giles forced a smile on his face.  "I think it is…is time for another dosage of my medication."

"I'll get the nurse." Buffy stood up and walked out of the room and told a nurse that Giles was in pain and asked if it was time for another dosage of his medication."

"I'll be with Mr. Giles in a few moments."  The nurse assured her.

As Buffy walked back to the room, she saw Xander.  She was till angry with him.  When his eyes met hers he looked just as angry as she did.

"Does Giles know?"  Does he know that the man-that thing that tried to kill him is still alive?"

"She told you?"

"Yea, I kind of forced it out of Wil.  How could you not kill him?"

  "Xander, it's not that easy.  He-he-he changed.  This isn't the time or place to talk about this.  We can talk about this after we visit with Giles.  He cannot know.  Giles cannot that Angel is still alive.  He knows nothing about this, understood?"

"Fine but Buff, I hope you have a good reason.  You have a lot of explaining to do."     

"We'll talk Xand, I promise, later."

Buffy entered Giles' room with Xander.  "Hey G-man, I'm glad to see you are awake."

"Xander please quit calling me that.  Thank you for visiting."  

The three continued to chat until the nurse came in with Giles' medication.  After Giles had fallen asleep, Xander and Buffy quietly exited the room.

            "All right Buffy, speak, why is dead boy alive-ish?"  Xander demanded to know as they waited for the elevator.

            "Xander, I told you this wasn't the place.  When we leave I promise I'll explain everything to you."  

Xander huffed and puffed all the way to Willow's room.

            'Buffy, I'm glad your all right."  Oz said as he gave Buffy a hug.

"Thanks Oz, you too."

"Willow tells me that the spell worked.  So…Angel's good, again?"

 "Willow, is there anyone you didn't tell?"  Buffy asked sarcastically.  Buffy knew that her friend was excited because of her growing power, but she kind of wished she didn't tell anyone.

"Don't worry, I didn't tell the nurse who comes in and checks on me, I don't think she would have been able to handle it.  Buffy, I'm kidding.  I'm sorry I told, I am just excited the spell worked.  Plus, Oz helped me."

"I know Wil, and I understand that too.  Okay, Angel is alive and he does have his soul back."

"Yippy skippy," Xander added.

 "Xander, if you would like to listen I can continue otherwise-"

"I'm sorry."

Buffy continued and explained the events of the last evening to her friends.  She didn't leave one detail out, no matter how small.

"Wow," was all that Willow could manage to say.

"I second that wow," added Oz before asking, "He really doesn't remember anything?"

"How do you know he isn't acting?" Xander asked

"He doesn't remember anything.  He broke down in front of me.  He didn't know how to respond when I told him about Ms. Calendar-"

"How do you know he isn't acting?" Xander asked for a second time.

"I just know Xander, I know.  When he first changed into Angelus, he showed no emotions and he was hateful and had no feelings or emotions."

            "Well, I think trying to kill everyone of your girlfriend's friends counts as showing emotion."

"Xander!"  Willow scolded him.

"Sorry Wil.  Does anyone else remember that he KILLED Ms. Calendar?  He killed, murdered her and-" 

"Xander-"

"No Buffy, listen to me for one minute, let me finish.  Not only did he kill Ms. Calendar but look around, you are in a hospital.  Your friends were all hurt because of him."

"Xander, Drusilla did this to you and me and Kendra," Willow's voice drifted away as she mentioned the fallen slayer.

"Fine, I'll give you that, but Buffy, I heard what you said to Giles upstairs.  I heard you say he is like a father to you.  Angel almost killed that man, the man who you love like a father.  Does that matter to you now?  Xander said almost yelling.

"Xander, he has changed!  Willow's spell worked.  He's better, he's good now.  He has his soul."

"For how long?  What happens the next time you and Mr. Soul decide to get romantic?"

"I don't know.  Xander, I'm not a mind reader!  I can't predict the future.  All I know is the present and what is going on now!"  Buffy yelled almost in tears.

"Well thanks for your recap.  Buffy, I want no part of this."

"No one asked you and-"

"ENOUGH!" Oz yelled.  It wasn't a really loud voice but probably the loudest voice they had ever heard Oz using.  Buffy and Xander stared at each other before looking t Willow and Oz.  Willow was crying.

"I think you both should go for a while.  Cool down and rest.  Emotions are kind of high right now.  You both have to leave for now though, this is too much for Willow."

Both Xander and Buffy left with their heads down not looking or saying anything to their friends as they left.  Both silently left Willow's room, walked down the stairs and out of the front door of the hospital.  Once outside, they went their separate way.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

            Buffy walked back to the house on Revello Drive.  She took her keys out of her purse and unlocked the door.  It was Thursday, which meant her mother would be working until at least five.  Buffy made herself a sandwich and sat at the kitchen island.  Her house was so silent.

            Once finished with her lunch, Buffy placed the plate in the dishwasher and made her way to the living room.  She peered out the window.  The sun shone high in the bright blue sky.  There were no clouds in the sky.  It was a gorgeous spring day.  Everything looked so green, so beautiful, and so full of life.  She laid on the couch and stared out of the window until she feel asleep.

"Buffy, Buffy?  Are you all right?"  Joyce Summers yelled to her daughter as she woke up.

            "Mom."  Was all she managed to say as she sat up still a little sleepy.  

            Joyce hugged her daughter, then just held her.  Buffy started talking.  "Mom, I'm sorry about last night.  I had to leave, it was really important.  I didn't mean to hurt you like I did last night."

            "It's all right sweetheart.  It's over and done with.  We both said things last night that we regret and it's over.  You're going to stop fighting vampires and-"

            Buffy pulled away from here mother and looked at her.  "Mom, don't you understand anything about hat happened last night?  I don't just get to wake up and change my mind about this.  This is my destiny, this is who I am.  I can not change this, this is who I am, I can't quit."

       "I'm sure if we-"

            Buffy shock her head.  "Mom, there is no way of changing this.  The only way that a new slayer can be called is if I die, again."

            Joyce didn't like the answers that her daughter was giving her. She also didn't like the idea that her daughter had died and she was never told about it.  She thought that Buffy was certainly not a child any more but she wasn't an adult yet either.  "Maybe I could talk to Mr. Giles and ge….get more information on what you are doing."

            "Mom, they don't make a little informational pamphlet that says, 'how to deal with your child and her slayer duties.'  Most slayers don't live with their families anyways.  They go and train with their watchers."

            "Well, if I can't get information on this, please tell me everything you know about this.  Please quit pushing me out of your life and just tell me what you have been doing."

            Buffy began to explain everything.  She explained the occurrences in Los Angeles and talked about her first watcher, Merrick.  She explained every up to the night before and that Angel was good again.  "That's it mom, that's everything."

            "Buffy that sounds like a horror movie. Are you sure you can't resign or elect someone else?"

            "Buffy smiled at her mother.  "If it were only that easy."

            "And Angel-"

            Buffy angrily interrupted her mother as she stood up.  "He is alive and good now.  Yes, I did sleep with him, once, just once.  I'm sorry I did it because he changed and became evil, literally.  He wasn't himself any more.  He tried sucking the world into Hell and he hurt my friends.  Please don't give me the safe sex talk now mom.  I don't think I could handle that right now. "

            Joyce stood up and put her arms around her daughter.  "I was going to say he's back?"

            Buffy wiped her eyes.  " Yes and I don't know what to do.  I don't want to think about that right now.  I have to go out and do some errands now."

            "Like patrolling?"

              Buffy shock her head as a smile formed on her face.  "I don't know how I feel about you knowing all of this.  No, I don't think I am going to patrol tonight.  I want to go to the hospital to see Willow and Giles and the butcher shop and then-"

            "Butcher shop?  Buffy I can pick up whatever you want to eat.  You don't have to pick up your own groceries."

       It took Buffy a minute to realize what her mother was talking about.  She had been to the butcher shop so many times with Angel to get blood for him that she didn't realize her mother was actually talking about meat.  "Mom, I need to get blood, for Angel."

            "Right."  Joyce said, pretending she knew what she was talking about.  "Well, why don't we go to the hospital to see Willow and Mr. Giles and then-"  

            "Mom, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I have to go by myself."

            "Why?  Are you just so used to doing everything on your own that you just don't want other people around?"

            Buffy felt bad for her mother.  She knew she wanted to help.  "I'll compromise with you.  You can come with me to the butcher shop and to the hospital but I have to see Angel on my own."

            Joyce wasn't expecting Buffy to cave in that easily so she jumped on the opportunity.  "All right Buffy, that is fair."

            Both Summers women climbed into the hunter green Jeep Cherokee and headed towards the butcher shop before heading to the hospital.

            After buying a few pints of blood, they beaded to the hospital next.  Buffy stopped in the gift shop to buy balloons for Willow.  She had six latex balloons and two foil ones that said, "Get Well Soon" with little flowers and butterflies and another one that had a dog that simply said, "I'm Sorry."  Buffy was sorry for the way that she acted earlier that day with Xander.  

            As she and Joyce approached Willow's room, Buffy spotted Oz outside the door.  The door was shut.

            "Hey Oz," Buffy said as she introduced him to her mother.  "What's going on?  What's with the shut door?"

            "It's all right, just medical talk with her parents.  They are talking about releasing her tomorrow and the insurance and stuff."

            The three stood in silence until Buffy talked.  "You know, this afternoon was uncalled for.  Willow is my best friend and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt her, especially as she is lying in a hospital room.  Oz, I'm glad you cared enough for her and zapped me back to reality."

             Before Oz could say anything, the door opened and the doctor walked out of the room.  Willow was a little surprised to see Joyce with Buffy.  Willow's parents and Joyce all went to the coffee shop.

            "Thanks for the balloons Buffy, they're cute."

             "Wil, I'm sorry about earlier with Xander, he just didn't let me explain.  I understand-"

            "Buffy, don't worry about it, it's over.  Xander came by this afternoon and he also apologized.  Look! He even brought me a stuffed Snoopy."  Willow said as she smiled.  She loved Snoopy.  She and Xander used to watch the Peanuts specials on all the holidays.  They still meet to watch at Xander's house every Christmas and watched "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

            "That's nice Wil."

            "It seems that you and Xander are the only people left to apologize to each other," Oz added.

            "Yea but Buf, I'd give him a few days to get over his crankiness."  Willow added.  

            "Your right but I'm not even going to think about it right now."  Buffy paused before continuing.  "So you are definitely going home tomorrow?"

            Willow nodded.  "Yea, at noon.  The doctor said since I know what year it is and I know the president and I know my friends and family I have no real head trauma.  I'm good to go, although my head feels kind of big but Oz tells me its head sized."

            Oz kissed Willow's head.  "It's a beautiful head size."

            Buffy smiled at the pair.  It was plain to see that Oz loved Willow.

            "Buffy, do you mind if we go and see Giles?  I would like to see him."

            "Okay Wil but he wasn't looking to good when I saw him earlier."

            "Why don't you two go and I'll wait here for your parental units."  Oz suggested.

            "Great, I'll call the nurse for a wheelchair."

            "Wheelchair?"  Buffy asked.

            "Yea, don't worry, they just don't want me to walk around.  It shouldn't take too long."

            Within five minutes a nurse came with a wheelchair.  Buffy pushed Willow to the elevator and began explaining in detail about how Giles' condition that morning.  She also said how the nurse said he was going to be all right but he was in a lot of pain.

            They got off of the elevator and made their way towards Giles' room.  From the outside of the door they heard some stuffy classical music.

            "Yep, this is Giles's room," Buffy commented as she opened the door.

            When she opened the door, they noticed the light on as well Giles sitting up and reading a newspaper.

            "Giles?  Wow, what a difference from this morning."  Buffy commented.  She was very confused.  Giles looked like death earlier that day and now he was sitting up and reading?  She thought she was visiting with a completely different person from earlier that day.  He looked so much better.

            Giles put the paper down.  "Yes, my doctor was completely amazed by my progress.  He can't figure out how I improved so quickly."

            "Do you know when you'll go home?"

            "Oh, hello Willow.  I could go home as early as Monday.  How are you doing?  When will you be released?"

            "Tomorrow."

            The three continued to chat.  Both Giles and Willow looked and felt so much better in the short twenty-four hours time frame.  

            The three talked like nothing was wrong and that they were just chatting like old times.

            "I'm sorry but visiting hours ended ten minutes ago.  You two must leave now and let Mr. Giles get his rest."  A cold nurse told them.

            "Well, you heard the warrant officer, we have to go."  Buffy commented.

            "But we'll be back tomorrow."  Will added.

            "Yes, well then, I'll see you both tomorrow.  Goodnight Willow, Buffy."

            " Goodnight Giles."  Both girls said in unison as they exited his room.

            "Buffy, I didn't think he looked that bad."

            "Wil, he didn't look like that when I left this morning. He had an oxygen mask on and had trouble breathing.  It is so weird how much he has improved in just a little while."  Buffy explained.

            "Just be thankful he's going to be all right."

            Buffy and Willow continued to discuss how fast Giles had been recovering as they entered her room.  Mr. And Mrs. Rosenberg and Joyce waited in the room with OZ while the girls visited with Giles.

            Joyce, Buffy and Oz said goodnight to Willow and her family and then walked out of the hospital together.     


	5. chapter five

This chapter is kind of short and a little lame.  I am having a major case of writers block mixed with a case of, "it's the end of the semester and I just want to get out off school!!"  I am hoping that whatever it is goes away soon and I will finish the story soon!  Enjoy this chapter!  Any feedback is greatly appreciated!!

"I'll be back to pick you up at midnight.  That should give you and Angel enough time to talk."  Joyce told her daughter as they left the hospital parking lot.  

            "That's all right mom, I can walk home, honest.  I've walked farther and in more dangerous areas of town before."

            Joyce stopped at a red light.  "When do you walk by yourself at that time of night?"

"When I patrol almost every night.  I promise sometime you can go with me just once so you can see what I do."  Buffy said as they pulled up to the old mansion on Crawford Street.

Joyce shook her head as she drove through the green light.  "I'd rather not.  If you want to stay later than midnight I can pick you up.  Just-"

"Mom, please, I-"

"Buffy either give me time to adjust to your role in life.  It is a lot to handle."  A smile found its way onto Joyce's face.  "Humor your mother, please?"

"All right, I'll see you at midnight.  Bye mom."

"Bye Buffy and be careful."

Buffy closed the car door and walked towards the back of the mansion.  She walked through the small garden and pulled the heavy curtain as she welcomed herself into the house.

Once inside she saw a fire burning in the fireplace.  The mansion was mostly dark.

"Angel?"  She called out.  There was no answer.  She walked closer to the fireplace.  She saw Angel sitting next to the fireplace.  He was engrossed in a novel. 

"Angel?"  She said again standing in front of him with the bag from the butcher shop.

"Buffy, hi.  I didn't hear you come in."  He said as he put down the book.

"Here, this is for you," Buffy told Angel as she gave him the bag that contained the blood from the butcher shop.  She picked up the book and examined it.  There were no pictures on the cover or on the old paperback and it wasn't in English.  

"Fun book. What were you reading?"  Buffy asked.

Angel placed the brown bag on the floor "that's just an old novel I found in the basement today.    It's in Greek.  How are the others?"

"Remarkably well.  Willow is being released tomorrow and Giles by Monday.  He has really surprised me with his progress.  This morning he looked so lifeless.  He couldn't breath on his own, he had an oxygen mask on and he had a hard time finishing his sentences.  When Willow and I visited him this evening he was sitting up in bed without the oxygen mask and was reading the newspaper.  It was kind f weird."

Angel nodded.  "Wow, that is amazing but Buffy, Giles has always been strong, he is a fighter. How about Xander, how is he?"

"He has a broken arm.  I think his head is harder than his cast though."

Angel couldn't help but smile at her comment.  "Why do you say that?"

"Because he is so arg!  When I first got to the hospital I didn't tell anyone about you being good again.  Willow and I began to talk.  She told me that she used Ms. Calendar's restoration spell.  She wanted to know if it worked."

"So Willow knows that I am back?"

"Yes but there's more.  She told Xander to tell me that she was working on it the last night.  I assume he didn't tell me because he didn't think it would work or because Angelus had Giles and had all ready killed Jenny.   Anyways, Willow told Xander that you are alive and-"

"So Xander knows I'm good too?"

"Yes but we are both got kind of mad at each other so we aren't really talking to each other right now.  He gets me so angry!  Angel, he won't even listen to me.  He doesn't understand."

"Buffy, I kidnapped, tortured and tried to kill Giles, who is like a father to him and is his mentor to him.  I don't blame him for being a little angry.

"But Angel, you didn't do those things, it was Angelus."

"I know that but he doesn't understand.  I fully understand and believe that he has the right to feel the way he does."  Angel paused and studied Buffy.  She looked shocked that he was siding with Xander on this one.  "So just Xander and Willow know I'm good?"

"And Oz and Cordy, they helped Willow with the spell in the hospital.   And my mom."

"Your mom helped with the spell?"  Angel asked confused.

Buffy smiled.   "No she knows about you.  She is trying to be all pro slayer mom.  She's actually picking me up later.   I find the whole thing kind of humorous."

"Tomorrow do you go back to school?"

"Nope, it's a crime scene.  School is closed until farther notice.  Snyder must be going crazy because who can he insult by himself?  At least I think he lives by himself.  Oh god, what if he has multiplied?"

"Multiplied?"

"Yea and he has off spring?  That could be bad.  His children could be in danger of turning into their father when they get older."

"Buffy-"

"Nah, there is no way Snyder has a wife or girlfriend or significant other to multiply with.  No on ever places an ad in the paper that says, "looking for a small snuddy troll like man."  

"Buffy, what I meant was are going to research anything?"

Buffy thought about it earlier that day.  She thought about looking through some of the books that Giles had in his office.  She wanted to know if there was anything on vampires with souls who comes back from hell demotions.  It was a far-fetched idea but she had to try something.   She was curious to see if there were any other cases like Angel.  While researching Angel, she, Giles and the others had never heard of another vampire with a soul.

"No, I hadn't planned on it.  Why?"  She lied.

"Because I want to know more about the spell Willow used.  The curse, I want to learn more about it."

Buffy didn't understand.  Angel had been cursed for a very long time and knew about the curse.  Why did he want to research it more?

"I could swing by the school and see what I can find for you tomorrow.  Is there anything else you need?"

"No, I think that I'm all set for now."

The two continued to talk right up until midnight.  Joyce had to go into the mansion and get Buffy because she and Angel had lost track of time.  Joyce had of course thought the worse had happened when Buffy wasn't outside waiting for her.

"I'll bring you a clock so this doesn't happen again."  Buffy smiled as Angel walked her and her mother to their car.

"I'm sorry Joyce, we lost track of the time.  We were talking."  Angel explained.

Joyce just stared at him for a moment.  The last time she saw Angel he had been obsessive over Buffy and had reviled that they made love.  She tried not to associate the man from that night with the man in front of her at that moment. 

"It's all right Angel, I understand.  Good night."


	6. chapter six

Chapter Six

"You're up early. I just assumed that since school was cancelled that you would just sleep in since school was cancelled." Joyce told Buffy at breakfast. It was six thirty seven in the morning and Buffy was already showered and dressed and ready to begin her day. Joyce, on the other hand, had been awake for fifteen minutes and waited for her coffee to brew.

"Well, I have things to do and people to see. You know, fun stuff."

"Alright and what does this fun stuff you have planned today include?"

"Well, I want to visit Wil and Giles. Oh and I have research to do on Angel. Don't worry though, I will be home in time for dinner.

"Research? Where were you going to do this research?"

"At the library, it's where the books live. Giles has this huge coll-"

"As in the school library?"

"The one and only."

Joyce shook her head. "Buffy, you can't go to the school library, it's a crime scene."

"I have to go there. I have to look at some of those books. Giles has these really old one of a kind books that may have some information in them. I promise I will be careful. That's why I am leaving so early. I'll see you later." Buffy said as she walked out the door. She didn't give her mother time to respond.

Buffy was a little surprised that there was no one at Sunnydale High School. No police or people investigating the crime scene and there was no Snyder there. The entire school was abandoned. 

Pulling her blonde hair behind her ears, Buffy walked into the library. She tore down the yellow "Police crime scene" tape on the entryway. 

She walked around past the spot where she held her dead friend's body. Kendra's body was being shipped back to here home. She would have a long awaited reunion with her family but it wasn't for a happy reunion. Her parents would bury their child.

Next Buffy stared towards the upper level of the library where she saw Xander unconscious. Tears fell from her eye and hit her checks before falling to the ground. Her tears came harder as she though about how close Giles came to dying. He literally looked like death the previous morning. She realized that she was lucky to only have lost one of her friends to Drucilla and Angelus.

After wiping her tears away and getting a grip on the present, Buffy pulled herself together and walked into Giles' office. She knew where he kept his watcher-related files and books. Some of the articles were in files filed as 'lost books' or 'book order forms'. That pile was located on the top right hand of his desk under the real library information files. She also went into a box outside in the caged area of the library and pulled more files out. She walked back and made herself comfortable in Giles' office. 

It had been almost two hours and Buffy had read all of the files and there was nothing related to the curse. She packed up some of the files and returned them to the upper right hand of the desk and she placed everything back as she found them. 

Buffy had just finished packing up the files that belonged in the caged area when she knocked over another piles of files and papers. "For someone who is anal and uptight, Giles sure isn't organized or neat" she thought to herself as she picked up the piles of papers off the floor. Most of these papers were related to school and the library. Sometimes everyone got so caught up with fighting and researching the evil that filled Sunnydale that it was often forgotten that Giles had a real job to do at the school.

As she put back the papers, one of them caught her attention. It was an email from Jenny to Giles. "Wow, not only does Giles know that computers exist, but he also knows about email and how to use it?" Buffy thought to herself. The email was dated on January 20th, 1998, the day that Angelus killed Jenny. The email said:

_Rupert,_

I am truly sorry for the pain that I caused everyone. I am sorry that I hurt the kids. I know that you look at Willow, Xander and especially Buffy as your own children. I have seen first hand that when one of them is distressed or delighted you also share that emotion with them. You are a great father to them. I am genuinely sorry for the pain I have caused all of them, especially the pain that I have caused you.

I want you to know that I am working on something that will bring Angel back. I found the original curse that my people used on him years ago. I think it'll take a little time but it will work. I am also looking at spells that would destroy Angelus forever, meaning Angel could in fact live as he did, with the curs. He would still feel all the pain and remorse he did for all of the killings Angelus did but he could also experience happiness. I have included some of the site I looked at on the web for a spell to do this for Angel as well as some of the books I have used. I will fill you in later tonight when I meet you at your place. 

With all of this being said, I have to finish up a few things before seeing you tonight. The addresses and books will follow.

Jenny

Buffy franticly searched for the next page that would include the websites but there were no other pagers around. Where is it? Did Giles print it out? After looking though all of the papers on his desk, Buffy found nothing that was connected with Jenny's email. 

While searching for the page Buffy thought for a moment about Jenny. She was angry with her for not saying anything about the curse, but from reading the email she could see that Jenny tried. She tried to make amends with Buffy. She tried to get read of Angelus forever and lets Angel have as normal of a life as a vampire with a soul could have. 

Buffy finished cleaning up the mess she created, although she did copy the email. As the warm copy came out of the machine, she folded the copy and slipped it into her bag she had with her. She placed the original back in the pile it was in on Giles' desk and then she exited. 

Next stop, Sunnydale Memorial Hospital.

Okay, I know this is kind of slow moving and it is the first update in a month, but I do have ideas flowing, I just have to write them down. Any feedback is appreciated and I promise the next few chapters should be more interesting and be faster past. Thanks for reading! J 


	7. chapter seven

Chapter Seven

"Come in," Willow said to Buffy. It was ten thirty in the morning and Willow was dressed and waiting to be released from the hospital. 

"How excited are you to leave this place?" Buffy asked her best friend.

"Thrilled, I mean not just thrilled, thrilled thrilled. I miss my bed and my room. I was even beginning to miss my parents and their lack of parenting."

That all changes today and you can rest tomorrow because of the whole lack of school."

"The school is still closed?" Willow asked.

"Yea. I mean how many students have died in that school or have turned up missing or deformed or demon like? How many vampires, invisible girls and other demons have done bad things there and they have closed it because of one death and because a few people where injured? It's about time the school does something; I just wonder why the school changed now. Who made them change their minds?" Buffy thought out loud.

Umm, well, I call her mom."

"WHAT?!?! Buffy asked in amazement. Willow's mother was never around for Willow so this movement surprised Buffy.

"Yea, she kind of got tired of everything you just said minus the demon and vampire and the invisible girl parts. With me being hurt, things hit home with her. The school is jumping on the metal detectors and surveillance camera bandwagon. They won't be installed until the end of next week."

"So this is like a forced vacation?" Xander interrupted Willow. He closed the door and sat on Willow's bed.

"Yea, something like that." Willow smiled. "Why don't the two of you go grab some coffee and chat for a while, you two have talking to do."

"Coffee sounds good." Buffy said, as she looked Xander in the eyes.

"Let's go then. Wil, do you want anything?"

"Yea, my best friends all made up. Now scram! Time is a wasting." Willow said still smiling.

Buffy stood up and left the room with Xander. Silence filled the friends all the way to the cafeteria. They walked over to the counter to order their coffees. Before Buffy could order, Xander spoke.

"Yes, I will have two coffees. One medium hazelnut with just cream and a vanilla with two sugars and extra skim milk." Xander ordered and paid for both coffees. He handed her her coffee and walked over to t able. The cafeteria was nearly empty.

"Must be the calm before the storm. You know, its not the mad lunch time rush." Xander commented. 

"Your probably right." Buffy said. She was quiet for a minute before she continued. "Thanks Xand, for the coffee."

"Your welcome. Its kind of an I'm sorry. I blew things way out of control when I heard that Angel was still alive. Granted I'm not Angel's biggest fan, but there is a world of difference between him and Angelus and if anyone knows the difference it would be you. So I am sorry, please forgive me."

"A smile formed on Buffy's face. "You are forgiven, I accept. I also want to apologize for going all postal on you. I-I don't know why Angel is back and I'm a little confused and on edge. Then I saw Giles and-"

"He looked like he got hit by twelve Mack trucks and then plucked by a dozen large beaked birds?"

Buffy made a disturbed face. "God Xander, I was going to say bad but thanks for the imagery." Buffy stopped and dazed into her coffee. "I just wish I understood more. I want to learn and understand more but-"

"That's usually what I'm for. I'm research girl and I guess now I'm spell girl too." Willow said with a smile. Oz was standing behind her with her backpack. "By the way, I am officially no longer a patient of the Sunnydale Memorial Hospital, I am now only a visitor. And you two-"

"Are bestest buddies again." Xander said as he put his arm around Buffy's shoulders and smiled.

"That's nice," said Oz as he sat next to Willow.

"So what are you guys talking about? What requires the help of research girl?' Willow asked with a smile.

"Wil, maybe you should just take some time and rest for a while." Buffy suggested.

"Yea Wil. What about you, me, a big tub of popcorn and some Snoopy time today? I'll even do the dance for you." Xander offered.

"No, I want to help Buffy. What do you need help with?"

"I don't know Wil, maybe they are right. You're kind of weak right now. Plus how can you refuse the Snoopy dance performed by Xander here? I mean it isn't even the holiday season." Oz added.

"No, Oz, I'm serious. DO you see my serious face? I am serious. I mean it, I want to help. Tell me what I can do!"

"Well Wil, when you put it that that way," Xander said as he sipped his coffee.

"Wil, I want to know about Angel's curse. I know it's partially in a different language but could you get it translated for me into English? I want to see it, and know what it means."

"Is that all? That's easy, I can do it and print out a copy for you in like twenty minutes when I get home."

"Thanks. Also, I went back to the school this morning-"

"Buffy went to school on a day when there wasn't any school to be had? Well, if Snyder could only see you know. Buf, when did you become the dedicated student?" Xander joked.

"Anyway, I went looking for information about the curse. What I am about to tell you, please don't tell Giles. I want to tell him when he's out of the hospital that I looked though his things." Buffy then pulled out her copy of the email to Giles from Jenny.

"Wow, Giles has email?" Willow asked.

"Files has seen a computer?" Oz added.

Xander, Willow and Oz all read the email before it was handed back to Buffy.

"Wil, do you remember seeing this email in any of Jenny's files?"

"No, I would have remembered since none of us knew about Giles and his knowledge of computers."

"Uh?" questioned Xander.

"The email. I would have recognized rgiles@sunnydale.edu as, well, Giles' name."

"Oh , ok" Xander said.

"There are a few websites that I found in a folder that I haven't looked at yet. Maybe one of those will have some answers. I will check on that when I get home.

"Buffy smiled at her friend. "Thanks Wil, you rock."

Oz also smiled at his girlfriend as he reached for her hand. "Yea she does."

"So we're off to see Giles now?" Xander asked.

"I'm up to it," Willow added.

"Me too," Oz agreed.

"Let's go then." Buffy suggested. "and remember, not a word to him about Angel or the email or the spells. We're only visiting with him."

Oz and Willow got up and continued to hold hands as they walked to the elevator. They walked in front of Buffy and Xander.

"You know, I'm glad we are so done with that whole fight thing." Buffy told Xander as he put his arm around one of his best friends. 

"I know you said that Willow rocks but you also do a little be of rocking of you your own."

Buffy smiled as she wrapped an arm around Xander's waist. "Thanks, you're not too bad yourself." 


	8. chapter eight

Disclaimer: The spell mentioned in this chapter is from Buffy…it's not mine!

Chapter Eight

"Hello Giles. We are your official wake up call," Xander announced as the four entered Giles' hospital room.

"Uh Giles, where are you?" Willow asked confused.

As the four looked around the room, they saw all of Giles' belongings but the bed was mad and there was no sign of Giles. Oz decided to state the obvious. "I don't think that he's here."

"This is weird," Buffy added. 

Just then someone entered the room. "May I help you?" A nurse asked the group.

"Yea, we are here to see Mr. Giles." Willow stated.

"And check it out, he's not here," Xander added.

"Mr. Giles is having some tests done this morning."

"Tests? We just saw him last night," Buffy explained pointing to herself and Willow. "He was fine then, what has happened?"

"That's just the thing," the nurse began to explain as she closed the door. "Mr. Giles had very serious injuries. When he was brought in we did not expect him to survive the night. If he wasn't brought in when he was, Mr. Giles would have died." The nurse paused for a moment. She saw the looks that the four friends exchanged. She then continued. 

"His injuries were very serious, life threatening. Now, just a few days later, he is as healthy as a horse. All of us, the doctors and all of the nurses thought he was going to die. The doctor is running tests to double check and to make sure that he is as healthy as he appears. The doctor is also making sure there are no internal injuries."

"When will he be released?" Buffy asked.

"Tomorrow some time. We are keeping him one more day and night for observation. Mr. Giles will be having testing for the rest of the morning. Why don't you come back this afternoon and you can see him for yourself then."

"That sounds like a good idea, thank you," Xander said as they left the room with the nurse.

"Okay Buf, this is the spell." Willow told her friend.

Buffy started at the computer screen as she read:

Quod perditum est, invenietur.  
Te implor, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte.  
Nici mort, nici de-al fiintei, Te invoc, spirit al trecerii. Reda trupului ce separa omul de animal!  
Nici mort, nici al fiintei.  
Lasa orbita sa fie vasul care-i va transporta, sufletul la el.  
Utrespur aceastui. Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!

"What does this mean?" 

"Opps, sorry, I meant to give you the English, not the Latin." Willow explained. With a few clicks of the mouse, the computer screen had the translation:

__

What is lost, return.  
Let him know the pain of humanity, gods. Reach your wizened hands to me. Give me the sword. Gods, bind him. Cast his heart from the evil realm. I call on you gods.  
I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request.  
Neither dead, nor of the living, I invoke you, spirit of the passing. Return to the body what distinguishes Man from the beast!  
Neither dead, nor of the living.  
Let this Orb be the vessel that will carry his soul to him.

Restore this one. So it shall be! So it shall be! Now!

Buffy stared at the text. She remembered reading it when Willow had tutored her a few days before. 

"This is a pretty old spell, isn't it?" Buffy asked her friend.

"Yea, it is. It's powerful too, as you can tell because, you know, Angel isn't all grrr any more."

"You must be strong too. And really smart. Have even taken Latin?"

Willow laughed. "No, but it felt kind of natural. I felt like I was meant to do it."

"Willow the Wiccan, I like it…it's a strong title."

Willow laughed again. "I have been going through Ms. Calendar's stuff as you know. I have found some websites and some books that are pretty interesting. I would like to try some of the stuff I have read. It's really cool."

Buffy smiled as her friend beamed. "That's great Wil. I have an errand to run-"  
"Your going to see Angel?"

"Well, I yes. You could come if you want to, then we could go to the hospital together." Buffy suggested.

"No, you guys need some alone time. But not too much alone time. Don't make him go all bad vamp again."

"I promise. We'll never get that close again. I was wondering if I could ask you one more little favor?" 

"Sure, what is it?"

"Could you print me a copy of the spell?"

"Of course," Willow said as she clicked the print button.

"Thank you Wil. I am off to see Angel, I'll see you guys at three at the hospital, ok?"

"Sure Buffy, I'll see you then."

"And Wil, I'm glad your home."

Buffy turned down Crawford Street and walked towards the old mansion. The street was deserted. The neighborhood was pretty nice. It was upper class neighborhood. Even the outside of the abandoned mansion looked nice. 

She walked up the yard and down the stairs that lead into the little garden before stopping.

"Angel?" She said loudly.

With no answer, she pulled back the curtain carefully and walked in. Buffy walked over to the fireplace and saw Angel still engrossed in the same book he had been reading the night before.

"That must be a really good book," Buffy said as she startled Angel.

"Oh, Buffy, hi. What time is it?" He said as he put the book down.

"It's oneish. Thought I'd drop by and see how you are doing."

"I'm good, how are the others?"

"They are good. Willow is out of the hospital and Giles is being released tomorrow."

"That's great."

"Yea, and Xander and I are friends again, so things are good, they are looking up." Silence filled the two of them until Buffy remembered she had a copy of the curse in her bag. "Oh, I almost forgot, here."

"Is this-"

"The curse. This is the one and original. Willow found it on one of Jenny's disks." 

"Thank you, and thank Willow too. I just wanted to look at it, and see what it says. I have never really read it or studied it."   
"How's your blood supply?" Buffy asked changing the subject.

'It's a little low but I think I can go out tonight to get more, maybe tomorrow night."

"Do you need anything?" Buffy asked wanting to do something for her dead lover.

"No, I think I am all set. What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"Well, I am meeting the gang at the hospital at three to visit Giles then I am going home, promised mom I would be home for dinner. I want to make dinner for her. I want her to try and relax. Tonight I can come back over after I patrol if you want me to." She explained.

"I would like the company. I am feeling a little better now. Could I go with you patrolling?" Angel offered.

"I would like that. I think mom would like that too. She doesn't like it when I am alone patrolling. I think mom will feel better just knowing I'm not alone."

"Of course you'll be with your psycho, serial killer, vampire ex boyfriend who just came back from a short spat in hell."

"Yea, maybe I won't tell mom your going to be with me. At least not for now."

"I understand."

Buffy offered Angel a smile. "I am just glad your back…and your good."

The two sat in silence for a little while until Buffy looked at her watch. 

"Wow, I can't believe it's two fifteen already. I should be heading back to the hospital to meet the gang, and to visit Giles."

"I guess your right. I'd drive you over but I don't think I have my car any more, I haven't seen it."

"Spike took your car when he and Dru got out of town."

Angel shot a confused look on his face. "I guess we should probably talk tonight, while patrolling." 

"Gee, I wonder what this talk will consist of." Buffy stated sarcastically.

"I don't know," Answered Angel as they both stood up. "Maybe about the past few months. Buffy, I feel like I've been in a coma."  
"No coma, you were dormant while your alter-ego took over for a while," Buffy said trying to keep with her sarcasm."

"Buf, I'm serious. I know what has happened to your friends and to Jenny but there has to be more, right? What else happened?"

Angel inquired.

Buffy nodded her head. "All right, we'll talk. Just promise me," she said as she rested her hand on Angel's check. "Promise me that you will keep in mind this wasn't you who did these things, it was Angelus."

Angel looked in to Buffy's eyes. "I know but, but, it's complicated. We'll talk tonight then."

"Okay. I'll pick you up here, around, I don't know, let's say sundown?" 

A smile finally formed on Angel's face. It's a date." 

  



	9. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

"It's nice to see you walking around. When do you go home?" Buffy asked as she placed the flowers she had bought for Giles in a plastic pitcher from the nurse's station.

"Tomorrow at half past ten. Not a moment too soon. I must say I am rather tired of this place now." Giles said as he sat up in the hospital bed. "I can't stand wearing this stupid dressing gown."

"That's all right. Tomorrow you can go back to wearing tweed." Xander suggested.

Giles just glared at him.

"Well, do you need anything tomorrow while you are at home?" Willow asked.

"No, I think I will just rest. This place is awful for resting. This place is noisy with all the buzzing and all the coughing and-"

"People in need?" Oz interrupted.

"Yes, precisely." Giles answered as he frowned.

"The nerve of some people. You would think this was a hospital of some kind." Xander joked.

"Do the doctors know how you recovered so quickly?" Buffy asked, ignoring Xander's comment.

"No they don't. They are quit amazed. They said I almost died."

"Well, I think you just proved how important taking all of your vitamins really is." Xander tried to joke.

"And don't forget a healthy does vegetables." Oz added.

"Finally, someone steps in and joins me with the laughter." Xander smiled.

"Oz, why do you encourage him?" Willow asked.

"Sorry, I was just caught up in the moment." Oz apologized.

"It's okay sweetie. So no one knows how your quick recovery happened?" Willow asked yet again.

"No. They are completely astonished. There is no explanation. The doctors said I should have died that night. There is no reason why I should still be alive now." Giles explained. "And there is no reason why I should have healed and gotten better, especially in the short amount of time. My doctor truly believes that I should not have gotten better at all, I should have been died."

The Scooby gang looked at each other in silence. They were all thankful that Giles was still with them. Since Buffy's arrival one year ago, Buffy, Xander and Willow had looked at Giles as their father. They just wished they could understand why he was back. Just then Buffy's watch beeped.

"That's me. I have to get home before mom. I told her I would. I sort of wanted to make dinner for her tonight. Giles I can stop by tonight after I patrol, or in the morning." She explained.

"Well, I suppose you could stop by in the morning if you'd like. There is no need to come back tonight. Thank you for stopping by."

"Sure. Get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye guys."

"Buffy? Are you home?" Joyce Summers asked as she closed the door to the house. She placed her bag on the floor in the corner of the hall an wondered into the kitchen.

"Buffy? Are you in here?" She asked again.

"Mom? Wait one minute." Buffy explained. She had a hunter green apron on as well as matching oven mitts. She was taking lasagna out of the oven.

"Go wash up. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. After the garlic bread is ready."

"Buffy? What is all of this?" Joyce was truly in shock.

"I wanted to make you dinner because I know you have been kind of stressed

lately. So I cooked dinner for you. I have to leave though after sunset. I have to patrol."  
"Buffy, I don't like the idea of you going alone."

"Don't worry I'm not. Angel is coming with me."

"What?" Joyce asked almost shocked.

"Yea. We figured it could be the best time to catch up on things."

"Buffy, I don't know if I like the idea of you and Angel being together…I mean being alone."

"Mom, I've seen Angel since he's been, well, back. He doesn't understand the

things that have happened to him over the past few months. He needs someone to explain to him everything that has happened. Things will be fine."

"But Buffy-"

"Mom, please, just get washed for dinner and we will talk about this later. The garlic bread is almost done." 

Joyce made her way to the stairs and walked up and went into the bathroom. She washed her hands and came back down. Buffy had set the dinning room table. There were two bowls and a plate with the garlic bread on it.

Joyce sat down and a slice of lasagna was already on her plate. There was a piece of garlic bread on the side of her plate and a bowl of salad to the left of her salad plate. She took a bite of the lasagna and was amazed with how good it was. "Buffy, this is amazing. Where did you learn to make this?"

"I just followed the directions on the back of the jar."

Buffy and Joyce sat almost in silence as they ate their dinner. Joyce finally brought up the subject of Giles. 

"He's doing well. He is coming home from the hospital. He is as healthy as a horse."

"That's great dear. I am glad to hear that." Joyce paused as she sipped her wine. "So Angel is going with you tonight.  


"Yea mom, he is."

"Buffy, are you going to be all right?"

"Mom, yes, I am going to be fine. I have seen Angel since he has been back and he's okay. Plus now I won't be alone patrolling."

"I know but I still worry. Especially know I understand more about you and your life. Sweetheart-"

"Mom, it will be all right. I promise I will be safe. I'll be home around one."

"One?"

Yes, like I am all the time. Please don't worry."

"You always come home around one?"

"Well, most of the time. Sometimes it is earlier and some times it is later."

"Later?"

"Mom, it's my job. Some one has to do it and it's me."

"I know, but I worry sweetie."

"Well, tonight there is no need for any worries. Don't think I will be fighting as much as talking. Does Hallmark make a card for 'welcome back from your psycho persona…buy the way how was hell?' I could really use that card tonight."

"Do you think things will go bad with Angel?"

"Bad, no. He is just going to beat himself up but mom, he didn't do those things. It was Angelous. It wasn't him."

"You really believe that?"   
"Yea I do. I know Angel and for the past few months he hasn't been here.

"IS there anything you want me to do?" 

"Wish me luck," Buffy said staring at her not touched lasagna."

__

Thanks to those who have sent me feedback. I appreciate it. I have been feeling kind of 

icky lately so I haven't done any updates for a few weeks. This chapter doesn't have too 

many exciting things to it but the excitement will come back in the next chapter, I 

promise. Thanks again! Lisa Ann 


	10. chapter ten

Chapter Ten

Buffy turned up Crawford Street just after sunset. Her mother had been upset that she was going patrolling. She just didn't understand Buffy's life style. She didn't want to be the one who had to save the world, it was her destiny, not her choice.

Before she knew it, she stood in front of the old mansion. She just stared at it for a minute. She knew that she and Angel would be having an extremely hard conversation about the past few months. She was prepared. Buffy thought since the past few days included killing the love of her life, sending him to hell and then seeing him return as well as seeing her friends hurt in the hospital, she believed that the talk should be the easiest thing of all.

She walked up the front yard and walked towards the side of the building. Angel was ready to go. He had his long black duster on with a pair of jeans and a gray button shirt. He was dressed nicely, as always. 

"Good evening," Buffy said with a smile.

"Buffy, hi. Are you ready to go?"

"Yea. It's another exciting night here in Sunnydale. Want to check the cemeteries first?" Buffy asked.

"Okay. Let's go."

The two walked over to the first of many cemeteries that occupied Sunnydale. Total silence filled the air between them. There were no signs of any vamps anywhere.

"Boring night." Angel said.

"Yea. It's been quiet lately besides, well, other things that were happening for a few months." Buffy tried to explain. She didn't want to be so obvious to tell Angel that nothing else really happened while he was Angelous and Spike and Dru were in town. She did however want to talk to Angel about the past few months. When Angel first suggested it, she didn't want any part of it. She just wanted Angelous to be in the past and have Angel concentrate on his future. Unfortunately she had been thinking about her night patrolling with Angel all day and had worked one a few things she wanted to talk to him about. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Angel asked dumbfounded. He wanted to ask Buffy about all of the bad things that had happened the past few months. What did Angelous do to people? What happened to innocent people and was he responsible for it? He didn't have any recollection of the months gone by, but he could feel pain. He knew Angelous had to have done something to feel this way. He felt remorse and sorrow and pain. He felt these things over events that happened in which he had no control over. Angel had felt like he was in a coma for the past few months. He wanted to understand what happened, especially if Angelous was responsible for it. 

"Not a lot has happened since Spike and Dru left town." There, I hinted towards the subject now you need to talk about it, Buffy thought. 

"Oh" Angel said knowing what Buffy was talking about. "What kept you busy the past few months? What happened?" Angel asked knowing that he would get the abridged version. Buffy was sure to make him feel as if nothing that happened was his fault. She was going to blame Angelous for everything.

"Well, there were a few murders."

"Anything solved?"

"Yea, pretty much all of them were." Buffy vaguely explained as she sat on a tombstone. 

"Who were they?" Angel asked as he stood behind her, not wanting to look at her as she reveled what had been happening the past few months.

"Mostly people I didn't know, random people. Besides Jenny, there was another girl in my class. Other than them, I didn't know anyone."

"Where there a lot?" 

Buffy stared at the ground. "There were enough." The awkward silence filled the air once again. She quickly tried to take the focus away from what Angelous had done. "But there were other monsters."

"Really?" Angel asked really not caring. He was too concerned with the pain he had caused to other.

"Oh yea, lots. Our swim team turned into sea creature thingies and I killed an invisible demon while I was in the hospital-"

"You were in the hospital?' Angel asked concerned. He wondered if Angelous had anything to do with it.

"Yea, it was only a few days. I had a bad case of the flu. Oh and then there was you and I, we almost killed each other when we took on the persona of the dead teacher and student."

By this point Angel was really confused. "What?"

"It was interesting, it was weird, very odd. And Oz is a werewolf."

"Oz is a werewolf?" Angel asked completely boggled.

Buffy nodded.

"Sounds like things were-"

"Uneventful?" Buffy interrupted.

"Yea it does." That awkward silence filled the former lovers again. Angel knelt down in front of Buffy and had to know. "Did I ever hurt you?' 

Buffy stared at him. She thought about the hurtful things Angelous said to her after the night they had made love. Then there was all of the battles they had. Angelous could have killed her so many times. "No, Angelous never hurt me."

Angel nodded. He didn't really know what to say. "Buffy, I am so sorry that I caused so much."

"Angel, it wasn't-"

"Buffy, it may have been Angelous who did those things but I am the one who feels it. I am the one who is suffering and feeling the guilt and the pain for those deaths or injuries. I am the one who feels it and it hurts and it is painful."

"Angel, you feel those things because your you. And you a thoughtful and-"

Angel shook his head as he interrupted Buffy. "Buff, it's the curse. It has nothing to do with me being a good person." He held back tears. Angel wanted nothing more to do than to cry. He wanted to let his emotions explode. "The pain hurts more than you will ever know. There have been times when I wish I didn't have the curse and I didn't care what happened around me. I wish that I was dead." Buffy just looked at him. "You know what I mean. I'm glad that I can do some good now but the pain is way too much. And-" Angel stopped and he began to cry. 

Buffy turned around and looked at him. She wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be all right. Before she had the chance, he continued. 

"And it is so painful to know that I have killed people for no reason. I have destroyed the lives of not only the people I have killed but also their families. There are some parents who don't have children and children who don't have parents and it's my fault. That hurts but what kills me is that-"Angel stopped for a moment. He knew what he wanted to say and it hurt him to say it more than anything he had ever felt.

"It kills me to know that I could have killed you or hurt you or done something to hurt you or your family or your friends. Hell, I did hurt your friends. How many people landed in the hospital because of me? Buffy, they could have died and I would have been responsible. I don't think I could have lived with that. I hurt you once and I never want to hurt you again."

Buffy though for a moment. Tears ran from her eyes and down her checks before hitting the top of the tombstone. She knew there was nothing she could say that would make Angel feel better but she had to say what was on her mind and in her heart.

"So Angelous hurt some people, even killed some. Angel, you were not responsible for that. I am sorry you have to go through the pain and the suffering but it isn't your fault. You had no control over what happened. There was not one ounce of you in Angelous. You are two different people. 

"So it sucks that Angelous did all of those things but Angel, you are not him. You are caring. So you were afraid of hurting me, don't. We know what brings Angelous out and well; we have to avoid that from now on. Angel, you are great person to be fighting side by side with and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. So we won't have the perfect relationship but I love you. I care about you and I don't care about what Angelous did because that wasn't you. Angelous is gone and he will never come back."

"You can't be sure of that."

"No, I can't but we know we have to take precautions."

"And do you think that Xander and Giles will love having me back? I don't think it will be that easy with them."

"I never said it was going to be easy. Giles is stubborn but he will overcome this. Let's be honest Angel, you and Xander have never liked each other and have never gotten along so nothing will probably change there, except more of Xander's 'I told you sos' and more Xander jokes but that's it. Willow is over the whole thing. She understands that you weren't responsible for what happened to her."

Buffy stood up and walked towards Angel. He just backed up. He looked down to the ground. He couldn't look Buffy in the eyes. "I think maybe we should keep our distance for now."

"Distance? Angel you haven't been around for months. Isn't that distance enough?"

He shook his head. "No. Please, give me a few days." HE began to back away and stopped. With his back towards Buffy he began to ask her something.

"Giles is getting out of the hospital tomorrow, right?"

"Yes."

"Does he know about me?"

"No."

"Will you tell him?"

"Yes, as soon as he is ready. Why?"

"I was just wondering." Angel stated as he walked into the darkness and left Buffy alone.

Buffy went on a quick sweep of other areas of town. Sunnydale remained quiet for another night. She was thankful for that. She couldn't wait to get home and crawl into her bed. She wanted to sleep for days but knew she had to get up early because she was meeting Willow, Oz, Cordy and Xander at Giles' house for lunch. It was a surprise for Giles. He had been though so much and they wanted to show him that he was appreciated. 

Buffy stood in front of her home and just stared at it. The living room light and the porch light were the only lights on in the house. She walked up to the porch and sat on the steps. She was so tired and her heart ached. She wanted Angel to feel better but that wouldn't happen. He was carrying around over two hundred years of guilt and anguish. 

After a few moments Buffy stood up and walked into her home. She closed the door behind her and hung up her coat. She walked over to the lamp in the living room to shut it off when she saw a note from her mother.

__

Buffy,

Hope your night was good. Willow called and said it was extremely important. Call her any time you get in honey. I'll see you in the morning. 

Love Mom


	11. chapter eleven

Chapter Eleven

"Buffy?" Willow, half-awake, half-asleep asked. It was two ten in the morning and she knew it was Buffy.

"Yea, good guess."

"No one else would call this late. Plus, we have caller I.D." Willow said, more awake. "How was patrolling?"

Buffy sighed. She didn't want to relive that night. Angel was hurting but she was talking to Willow, one of her best friends. If anyone would try and make her feel better it was Willow. "Wil, it was terrible. Angel felt so bad and horrible about the past few months, I couldn't talk to him. He doesn't want to see anyone for a few days."

Willow thought for a moment. She had something major to tell Buffy but she couldn't. Angel was hurting and because of that Buffy was hurting. Willow would have to keep her new findings a secret a little longer.

"What was so important. Is everyone okay?" Buffy asked as she laid in her bed. She reached into the drawer in her nightstand to grab her lotion. Right next to her lotion was the Claudagh ring Angel had given her for her birthday. It made her think about Angel. She wished there was something she could do for him.

"Oh, it was really nothing that important. I just wanted to make sure we were still on for lunch with Giles tomorrow, well, today." Willow lied.

Buffy knew that Willow wanted to ask something else but she was too tired to argue. "Of course. We were going to meet around ten thirty, right?"  
"Yea, I think Oz is picking you up then. Then we can start to set up in the apartment while Xander and Cordy drive Giles home. "

"Okay Wil. I'll be ready around ten thirty then. Good night Wil."

"Night Buffy." Willow told her best friend. She hung up the phone and laid back down in her bed. She wanted to share her news with Buffy. She knew it would make her feel better. Should would be ecstatic but Buffy wasn't ready to hear it yet. Buffy would know soon though.

"Is that even possible?" Oz asked Willow on the way to pick up Buffy. Willow had shared with Oz the news she had intended for Buffy.

"I don't know but I want to try. I feel like it is the least I can do for both of tem."

"When do you plan on trying this?" Oz asked as he turned down Revello Drive. 

"Soon. Very soon." Willow answered as Buffy walked towards the van.

"You didn't have to pick me up. I could have taken a cab." Giles told Xander and Cordella.

"It's no problem Giles. We just wanted you to know we were there for you."

"Yea because you are British and you have no family or friends or a life." Cordy added as they walked out of her car.

"She certainly has a way with words." Giles said.

Xander wrapped his arm around Cordy. "Yea, that's why I love her." He explained.

Giles walked to his door and put his key in the lock and turned it.

"Surprise!" Willow yelled as Giles, Xander and Cordy walked though the front door. Willow gave him a quick hug.

Giles looked around. He saw bottles of water and soda on his counter in the kitchen as well as a kettle of water on in the kitchen. "What is all if this?" He asked.

"It's a welcome home party." Xander added.

"Yea. Think of it as, 'we're glad your not dead' party." Cordy added.

"Once again, Cordy has her very special way with words." Oz commented.

Giles walked over to the couch where Buffy was sitting. She was in a daze. She was thinking about Angel and about how she was going to tell Giles that he was alive. Giles would never look as Angel and Angelous as two different men. He saw them as one in the same. Buffy knew she had to tell him before she left to go home that afternoon.

"Hey, welcome home." She said as she hugged Giles.

"Thank you Buffy. How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine." Great, my mopping is shining through she thought to herself. She sat up straight, as her mother always told her to do and looked at Giles. "How are you feeling?"

"Excellent thank you. You shouldn't have done all this." Giles spoke to everyone in the room.

"Giles, it was no problem." Willow said

"Yea, it was the least we could do for you." Xander added,

"Especially since you're not dead." Cordy added again.

'There she goes again." Buffy said with a forced smile.

"Xander, it is just her special way of saying she cares." Oz explained.

Everyone made small talk for a while. Cordy continued to make inappropriate comments about Giles being well and alive and being British. Oz and Xander were there to explain and to point out every single comment that left her mouth.

Everyone knew there was something wrong with Buffy. She wasn't her usual self. They all assumed that it was because of the whole Angel thing. 

Buffy sat and kept to herself. She contributed to the conversations that went on as well as laughed at the jokes that were told but she didn't feel herself. She had to tell Giles that the thing that almost killed him was alive. Angel was alive and not evil. She knew that Giles would go off the deep end and with good reason. She had to explain in the calmest and most direct way. She just didn't see the opportunity.

Buffy stood up and walked to the kitchen to put her plate in the dishwasher. She was going to empty the sink full of dishes and load the dishwasher. She was in her own little world doing so when Giles met her in the kitchen. 

"Buffy, I have been meaning to talk to you about something."

"Oh? Uh? What?" She asked a little dazed.

"I wanted to ask you what exactly happened with Angel that night?"

Buffy swallowed hard. She didn't want to look Giles in the eyes. She knew that he was going to be upset and a little hurt.

"Well," she started. "I sent him to hell at first."

"At first?' Giles questioned.

"Yea. Right before I did Angel turned good but the portal had already been activated and Acathla opened. I knew there was only one way to close it." Buffy looked down at the floor. "I killed Angel."

"Oh Buffy, I-" Giles was interrupted by Buffy.

"No Giles, there is more. I was walking out of the mansion and heard a thump. Angel had returned from some hell dimension. He was good Giles. It wasn't Angelous, it was Angel."

Giles stared for a moment. He didn't know what to say. Should he be upset because the man, the beast that killed his lover and tried to kill him was alive? Was he upset because his slayer who he had begun to love as a daughter was hurt? After all, she had to send her lover to hell to save the world. It was unfair that she had to do that but it was unfair that his precious Jenny was no longer with him.

"Buffy, I am lost for words. I know I should be bloody angry but I am not. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Like many aspects of your destiny, this too is unfair."

Tears formed in Buffy's eyes. "Giles, he feels really awful for everything. I know he didn't do it. It was Angelous. He is beating himself up for everything."

He better be beating himself up over this. He almost killed me and Willow and he has killed so many. Jenny is dead because of him. How on earth is it possible to feel sorry for such a creature, such a hideous beast? Giles kept telling himself that he felt bad for him because of Buffy. Still staring at the floor, Giles said, "I bet he is," very calmly. There was no point of being Angry with Angel or Buffy at that particular moment in time. It wouldn't make him feel better and it certainly wouldn't help Buffy out. 

He placed his arms around Buffy and told her everything would work out for the best.

Meanwhile, Willow discussed with Xander and Cordy what she and Oz were talking about that morning.

"Wil, are you sure this can be done?" Xander asked nearly repeating Oz's question.

"Yea, how do we know he won't die, I mean for real. As real as a vampire can really die. Xander, help me out here, you know what I mean."

Before Xander could answer, Willow cut him off. "I don't know if this can be done. I 

guess it is a one shot deal but I have to try, for Buffy."

"Where did you get this information?" Cordy inquired with out making a ditzy comment.

"I found it in Ms. Calendar's things. It was stuck to some projects that needed to be graded. I translated it and poofy, here we are know talking about it." Willow explained.

"When are you going to try it?" Oz wanted to know.

"Tomorrow night. If it works, it should work instantly. Well, I think instantly we will know either way whether or not it will work."

"When do we tell Buffy?" Xander asked.

"We don't. We wait for it to work. No one tells Buffy about this. No one at all." Willow said with her serious face. "Buffy will find out soon enough."   



	12. chapter twelve

Chapter Twelve

What am I doing here? Angel asked himself as he walked towards Revello Drive. He though that he should just hang low for a few days and be by himself. He wanted space to think things through. He wanted to mope alone for Angel's mistakes. He didn't want to make Buffy feel upset. He hated it when she tried to defend the monster inside him. 

He walked down the street and stopped in front of Buffy's house. Almost every light was on in the Summer's home. It was almost eight o'clock. The sun had been down for almost a half-hour. He wanted to see Buffy and try to talk to her again. He wanted to try and explain more to her about how he felt. He also wanted to talk to her in more depth about the last few months and what happened exactly. He didn't want her to be vague any longer.

Angel slowly approached the stairs. He pulled his coat close to him and rang the doorbell. Angel knew that his visit to Buffy's house was a long shot because she would probably be out patrolling by now. He walked to the front door and rang the bell.

Angel backed away from the door as it opened.

"Angel, hi," Joyce Summers said as said as she looked at him. She thought about a few weeks ago when Angel followed her out of her car and reveled to her that he and Buffy had shared a night of passion together. She was so angry with him. He hurt her daughter and her friends. Then she thought that he had changed. He didn't have the same personality as he did all those weeks ago. "Buffy's not here right now. She left a little while ago to go patrolling."

He nodded. She probably hates me, with good reason, he thought about Joyce. I almost destroyed her daughters and her friends' lives. "Thank you Ms. Summers. By the way, could you tell her I stopped by?"

Joyce nodded in agreement. "Yes, I will give her the message."

"Thank you." Angel said walking away from the door. He walked into the darkness of the nighttime and started back towards his home on Crawford Street before Joyce could respond.

"Wil is going to meet us in the park by the swings around midnight. She said if she wasn't there to wait for her. She has something important to tell you." Xander filled Buffy in as they patrolled near an Ally way.

"What's up with her doing all stuff of importance lately?" Buffy asked.

"Well Buffy, I think you must face the fact that our little girl is growing up." Xander said. He knew what she, Oz and Cordy were working on but he promised not to say anything. Xander thought that if he kept the jokes rolling Buffy wouldn't be suspicious of anything. He was nervous that he was already acting weird. 

"Very funny Xander. Maybe it's because of the teaching thing. She loves that and I think she is applying it to other areas of her life."

"Like I said Buf, Willow is growing up, she's changing. "

" I guess your right. It's just all growing up stuffy." Buffy said. She continued on about another topic. Xander didn't really hear what she was saying. He was too relieved that she didn't suspect anything. He just had to keep his mouth shut for another four hours.

"Do you know what you are doing?" Cordy asked Willow.

Willow shrugged. "I do, a little but I bet I will learn fast." Willow explained as she offered a half smile.

"Are we all set?" OZ asked as he finished placing the candles down on the floor of Willow's room.

"We are. Just let me grab the spell from my grade book." Willow said as she fumbled through the pages of her green book." She sighed. "Are you ready?"

Both Oz and Cordy nodded in agreement.

"Okay, let's start."

Angel walked into his home. He sat in his garden for a little while. It was a beautiful night. Stars blanketed the sky. After a while he walked into the house and went towards the fireplace, his only source of light. He sat next to the fire and began reading a book of poetry. 

He was reading for a few short moments when he felt a sharp pain going though his entire body. Angel put down the book and began to walk around. He walked back into the night and into his garden. The pain was too much for Angel. He felt to the ground and was gasping. He wondered what was happening to him. 

"Xander, it's after midnight. Where's Willow?" Buffy asked kind of impatient. "I want to go home to bed."

Why is so inpatient? Doesn't she realize what Willow and the others are doing for her?" Xander sat next to Buffy on a swing. "She's probably just running late. She'll be here." He paused for a minute before changing the subject. "What did you think of Mr. Emerald's science test?"

"It was so hard. I get points for showing up right? And for putting my name on the paper?"

The two continued to talk about their classes when Cordy appeared.

"Cordy? Where's Willow?" Xander asked.

Cordy took a deep breath and smiled. "It's Angel. She's with Angel."

"How happy do you think Buffy will be when she sees him breathing…literally." Willow asked Oz as they got out of his van. She was so certain her spell worked. She was proud of herself.

"I think she'll be pretty thrilled when she finds out. It will make things easier for her, for them." Oz told his girlfriend as they walked towards the side of the mansion. Xander had mapped out the whole mansion when Willow first told him about her idea. "Are you sure you are okay though? Your eyes went all black and beady for a few minutes."

"It was just a few minutes. It was all of the power going through me. It was amazing. I think I am pretty powerful for an amateur.

Oz was about to say something when he tripped over something. He looked down and was a little shocked. "Willow? Look." He said as he pointed to Angel.

Willow smiled as she began to whisper. "Look, he's sleeping."

Both Willow and Oz began shaking Angel. There was no response. 

"This isn't a good thing, is it?" Oz asked as he heard Buffy and the others approaching.

Willow simply said, "No." 


	13. chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Buffy ran up to the mansion. Cordy was behind her on her left while Xander was on her right. Neither one of them explained much of anything. Buffy wasn't sure what was happening or why everyone was meeting at the Angel's mansion. All that Cordy told Buffy was that she would be very happy. Buffy thought that she would be happiest at home in her nice, warm, comfortable bed. Her friends thought differently.

The three friends walked into the dark house. The fire was burning bright. Buffy could here murmurs coming from somewhere in the house. She followed them. Xander and Cordelia also followed in silence. They could not wait to see their friend's expression when she saw what Willow had done for her.

Buffy entered a room and saw Oz holding Willow. Willow seemed very upset. Buffy was confused.

"Hey guys, what's going on here? Where's Angel?"

Willow pulled herself away from Oz. She was no longer crying but her eyes were red and big. She walked towards Buffy in silence.

"Uh, guys? What is going on here? Where's Angel?" Buffy asked for a second time. Cordy's smile was slowly fading into a frown. She and Xander didn't know what was happening. At that particular moment in time they were as clueless as Buffy.

"Buf, we have to talk. Something has happened." Willow said calmly.

"Well, what is it?" Buffy paused and spoke before Willow had a chance to respond. "Is it Angel? Is he bad again? Was the spell just temporary?"

Willow just looked at her best friend. Tears began to fall down her checks. "Buffy, Angel isn't evil again."

A sigh of relief appeared on Buffy's face. "Well, that's good."

"Buffy, no. Angel's not evil because he is dead." Willow said calmly.

Buffy was lost for words. She didn't know if this was a joke or what it was. "I'm sorry he's what? What did you say? It sounded like you said he was dead. He can't be dead because, well, he wasn't really living any ways but, where is he?" 

"He's no longer walking with the living. He is dead." Oz tried to explain very matter of faculty.

Tears began to form in Buffy's eyes. They hadn't made it beyond her eyes yet. "What? How?" She asked in shock.

Oz looked at Willow. Willow didn't say anything. She physically couldn't because she would break down and cry.

"Well, Willow was grading papers when she found this spell that was Jenny's."

Willow interrupted for a moment. "It was stuck to a project that I was grading."

Oz continued. "Willow researched the spell and brought it to that guy in the magic shop and he gave her the some more information and items she needed to perform the spell. We did it tonight and thought it was going to work."

Willow had completely stopped crying. She was now more upset with herself than sad. "Xander was supposed to keep you busy while Oz, Cordy and I worked on it." 

With her tears still in her eyes, Buffy calmly asked, "what was it supposed to do?"

Xander answered in disbelief. "Make him human. Make him alive."

The tears finally broke from Buffy's eyes and made their way down her checks before they rolled off them and hit the floor. "What?"

Willow walked over towards her best friend and was now a little pulled together. "You have been through so much these past few months. Your boyfriend went psycho and evil, literally. He killed and hurt a bunch of people and you have had to physically fight him almost everyday for the past few months. I know that mentally you are at your wits end. You have been through hell and back and then back into hell. You don't deserve that.

"I found that spell accidentally. I was handing back those papers and it was stuck to one. I didn't know that Angel could die."

Buffy interrupted her for a moment. "Wil, I appreciate what you tried to do but you are inexperienced in that area. You have done one spell that worked right. What makes you think you could take on something this powerful? Why didn't you tell me?" She whined. Her heart was broken now.

"Buffy, I-"

Buffy cut her off. "Where is he? Does he have a body or did he go poof or- is he just dust know?" The thought made Buffy sick to her stomach. She ran out of the door and into the garden and vomited.

Willow walked out to the garden and held her friend's golden hair back. When she was done, Willow cradled Buffy in her arms as she let out tears and whimpers.

"Buffy, I am so….I didn't know-….the spell was going to…..things were supposed to be different." Willow said now joining Buffy in tears.

The friends held onto each other for a few minutes. Then Buffy asked. "Where is he?"

"In one of the rooms. I can bring you to him." She offered.

"Okay."

The two made their way into the house, beyond their friend and into the room where Angel's body was. It looked as if Angel was asleep. After all, he was dead. When he slept his stomach never moved up and down and he definitely never snored or anything like that.

"How do you know he's," Buffy stopped in the middle of her sentence. She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"We yelled in his ears and shock him a little bit. He didn't responding to anything."

Buffy just stared at him for one moment. Willow left her alone with him. She couldn't believe that the man she loved was dead, for good. The real Angel had finally shone through after so many months of being over thrown by Angelus and it all ended. She understood why Willow wanted to help but she wished she hadn't. He was taken from her forever.

Before leaving the room, Buffy walked over to the still body and held his hand. She thought that he seemed colder than usual. She looked at his face. She kissed him on his check and then stared at him a bit longer. She took his hand and touched her face with it. What she had left of her tears touched his hand. Finally, she put his hand down and rested it on his stomach. "You are finally at peace now. I love you. Good bye." She looked at him until it hurt too much to be in the room with is now still body. 

Buffy took her time walking into the room where her friends were. Once she met up with them, silence fell upon the friends.

"We do have a bit of good news." Cordy said softly. She wanted to comfort Buffy but she didn't want to push her. She thought if she changed the subject Buffy could focus on something else for just a little while.

"Which is?"

"Well," Xander began to say. "We know why Wil and Giles healed so quickly."

"What happened?"

"See this old book?" Oz said holding up a book Buffy had seen before.

Buffy nodded. "Yea, it is a book of poetry. It's in Greek or Latin or something old. Angel has showed it to me before. What's the biggie?"

"It's not poetry. It's a spell book. Angel cast a few spells. One to heal Willow and the other one to heal Giles and make him feel like new."

"What?" Buffy was shocked. Why wouldn't Angel have told her? He knew that she was confused with how fast Giles had healed.

"Buffy, I think he died as a hero." Cordy said.

Silence filled the room again. The friends just stared into space. One didn't know what to say to comfort the other. Xander was the first to speak up.

"Buffy, I hate to ask this but what do you want to do with his body?"

Buffy nodded. "I guess there is only one thing to do. We bury him. It's too late now but we bury him tomorrow after sunset. Is that alright with all of you?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. They would support Buffy and help her go though the grieving process. The first step would be to bury him in less than twenty-four hours.

Cordelia and Xander gave Buffy a ride home. Xander walked her up to the door. He gave her a bear hug and said good night. As she fumbled to get her keys, she prayed her mother wasn't awake. She was really late getting back and didn't feel like explaining herself to anyone.

She was relieved that her mother had fallen asleep on the couch. Buffy took a blanket and covered her mother up with it before she quietly went up the sitars to her bedroom.

She changed, brushed her teeth and then washed her face before climbing into bed. She reached into her drawer to grab her lotion. She looked into the drawer and saw the ring Angel had given her for her seventeenth birthday. She placed it on her finger and just looked at it before she burst into tears. She laid in bed and cried herself to sleep.


	14. chapter fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

"Buffy, Buffy, it's time to get up." Joyce Summers told her daughter the next morning. She sat next to her on her bed. "Buffy, it's after noon, are you feeling all right?"

Buffy rolled over and looked at her mother. Her mother had no idea what had happened to her the night before. Buffy pulled the covers over her head. "Mom, just leave me alone."

Joyce was puzzled. She had been lying awake on the couch when Buffy came home. She saw Xander and Cordelia drop her off early in the morning. When Buffy walked through the door she appeared all right. "Honey, what's the matter? What's wrong?"

Annoyed Buffy rolled over with her back towards her mother. "Nothing, I want to sleep." 

Joyce could not understand why Buffy was acting the way she was. "Buffy, did something happen last night? What is going on?"

Once more Buffy rolled over. She took the covers off from over her head and sat up. She pushed her hair behind her ears and looked at her mother. "Angel is dead. There, I said it. I would like to go back to sleep now please."

"What?"

"He's dead. He is no longer among the living the living as Oz so kindly put it last night."

"Did he turn into dust like that other man did a few nights ago?" Joyce asked recalling one of Angelus' men she had and Spike had dusted.

"No. He died form other causes. I-I don't want to get into it now. I just want to stay in bed a little longer, " Buffy told her mother as she rested her head on her shoulder. 

Joyce stroked Buffy's long golden hair. She wished she could have made her pain go away. "Do whatever you need sweetheart. I'm going to the gallery for a few hours and then I'll be here all tonight if you want to do something or go some place."

"Nothing tonight. We are going to bury him tonight."

"We?"

"The gang and I. Wil and Oz, Xander and Cordelia."

"What about Mr. Giles? Will he help you?"

Buffy was thinking about how Giles did not know the news yet. If he had heard the news it was through someone else. She bet that he didn't care. Angelus had killed Jenny and tried to do the same to Giles. "I don't think he knows yet. I suppose I should go tell him. Arg! I don't want to get out of bed." Buffy whined as she pulled the covers off of her and crawled out of bed. She opened her closet door and searched for an outfit to wear. 

Her mother was sitting as she watched her daughter who has in so much pain. Joyce was thinking about how hard it was to get over any first love but throw in the fact that her daughter's first love was not human and now dead really made her feel bad for Buffy. "I could call into work and we could just hang out together. Or we could just go to the mall. Do you want a new outfit?" What was she doing? Joyce knew that Buffy's pain could not heal over ice cream and some new pretty things.

"No that's all right. You go to the gallery. I have to go and talk to Giles. I should do that now."

Joyce nodded. She wondered how a man her age could relate so well to her own teenage daughter. Why would Buffy go to Giles over her own mother? Joyce was almost jealous. She wanted to be the one who comforted her daughter and to hold her. She didn't want some man old enough to be her father to take her place. She wondered how he could relate to her daughter so well. "Okay Buffy but promise me that if you need anything, anything at all you will call the gallery. Promise?"

Buffy agreed. "I promise. I have to take a quick shower and then I am leaving. I may not be home for dinner, so I will se you later." And with that being said, she rushed into the shower. When she was finished with her shower and dressed, Buffy looked around and found that her mother had left for work. Buffy hurried and went over Giles.

"Buffy, hello. Please come int." Giles told her. He had known about Angel. Xander had stopped by to tell him earlier that day. "You just missed Xander. He was here earlier. We-"

Buffy was relieved that she didn't have to go through the story about the previous night. She just wasn't ready to talk about it. "So you know?"

"Oh yes. Xander explained everything to me this morning." Giles told her as she sat on his couch. He wanted to comfort the young woman who was like his daughter. He had wondered how her father could abandon her. Buffy had excelled during her first year in Sunnydale. She may have missed classes but she had almost straight A's in every one of them. She worked really hard in her academic life as well as in her slaying life. She was such a strong young woman and he was proud to be fighting by her side. He wished there was something that he could do to ease her pain. Though he was never really found of Angel, even when he wasn't evil and didn't kill his girlfriend, he was more concerned with Buffy.

"Giles, I don't know what to do or think or…or feel. It just hurt so badly. I know that you don't care about him," Buffy knew that Giles didn't like him, especially after Jenny's death. She stopped thinking as she continued, "but I didn't know who else to go to. Wil feels horribly and Xander, well he's not very compassionate when it comes to Angel. And-"

"Buffy, it's-" Giles was interrupted.

"Not that you really cared for him, especially after things that have happened recently but your older and, -" Buffy was interrupted this time. 

"Buffy, it's okay that you are here. I know that you are hurting and need to talk to someone. That's one of the reasons I am here for you." Giles told her.

Buffy forced a smile on her face. "Thank you. I don't really want to talk about since you know. I don't know what I want." She paused as tears filled her eyes. "I know what I want, I want to stop hurting."

Giles wrapped his arm around Buffy and held her as tears flowed freely from her eyes. The only thing Giles was able to do was console her.


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Author's Note:** I am going through a bit of a writer's block at this moment, so the next chapter may drag, then again it may not, depends on how quickly the dialogue comes to me. Also, I have had some really long days at work so my writing is limited because all I want to do when I come home is sleep! 

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I wanted to say thank you to _Tiney1981__, Kristine, __TK__, __Kendra__ and Courtney for the feedback, it was greatly appreciated! Let me know what you guys think of the rest! I hope you all keep reading!! _

Chapter Fifteen

"So we're done then, right?" Xander asked Oz as they finished digging a hole in one of Sunnydale's largest cemeteries. They had dug the whole towards the back of the cemetery so no one would really notice anything, such as a huge grave.

"Yea, I think so. Did you finished the wood working?" Oz asked Xander. As they crawled out of the hole they had finished digging. Xander had made a casket after he and Cordy dropped Buffy off the night before. Seeing how distraught Buffy looked pained Xander. He channeled all of his pain into the wooden casket. It only took him a few more hours to make after he stopped at a 24 hour Home Depot to buy supplies. He never liked Angel but he decided his crafty skills might have helped Buffy in some way. 

"You did good work Xander. You should go into woodworking or something." Oz commented. "Where did you learn that?"

"I taught myself. When I am in the garage it keeps me busy. I have to get away now and then from my mom and dad. I've made all these boxes and storage things so I thought that making something like what I made Angel would be the same, except larger scale. The paint should be dried by now so all we have to do is-"

Oz interrupted him. "Wait for tonight."

Xander nodded and repeated. "Tonight."

"I don't feel right about this. I-I don't think I shouldn't be there. I caused the whole thing. I should have kept me and my magic out of it." Willow explained to Cordy as she got dressed. "It's not right."

"Willow, it's okay. You tried to help and like other things in your life you just sucked at it." Cordy tried to explain. She had such a blunt way of telling things the way they were. If anyone else would have said those things to Willow she would have been hurt but since it came from Cordelia, she didn't take it to heart.

"Thanks Cordy." Willow said sarcastically. "I mean it, do you think Buffy wants me there tonight?" 

"I think you are one of Buffy's best friends. I don't think it is a matter of wanting you there, I think it's more of she'll need you there." Cordelia explained. "Hello, you killed her demon killer slash lover and we are burring him. Of course she'll need you there."

Willow's heart sank as Cordelia brought up Willow's doing in Angel's death. She knew Cordy meant well but it still hurt. 

"I think your right. I'm going to be with her tonight and do whatever she wants me to do."

Cordelia nodded. "You are doing the right thing. You are a good friend. Sh-she's lucky to have you in her life."

Willow smiled. "Cordy, I think you said something nice to me."

Cordy's smile vanished from her face. "Well, you were all sad and droopy." She paused for a second as she continued. "But, I do mean it. You're a good person Willow."

Willow smiled. "Thanks. Now I think we have to get ready for tonight. Buffy is going to need a lot of support, from all of her friends." Willow said as Cordy just smiled. 

It was ten o'clock when Buffy finished her quick sweep of Sunnydale. She didn't want to take any more time. She just wanted to get that night over with. She placed her hand on her pocket to make sure the object was still in there. She had one bad fight with a vamp and didn't know if it had slipped out during the battle. She was a little relieved when she found it sitting in her pocket. She rushed over to the mansion that sat on Crawford Street for what she hopped would be the last time. She didn't want to be at Angel's place. Even though he resigned there when he was Angelus, the memories still hurt and she was tired of hurting.

Buffy ran up to the side of the house. She hurried inside and found Willow, Cordy, Oz, Xander and even Giles standing next to a darkly stained wooden box. 

"What's this all about?"

"Well, we wanted to help you Buf." Xander began to explain before Willow interrupted him.

"You wanted to bury Angel, so we all kind of got together and planned a kind of service for him-"

Xander butt in. "For you. Really this is for you." Xander wanted Buffy to be very clear on their intentions.

"We wanted to help you say good bye." Willow finished as she glared at Xander.

Buffy nodded. It made her feel good to know her friends, some of which despised Angel, went through all of the trouble that they had. "I don't really know what to say, but thank you guys." Buffy hugged all of hr friends. She appreciated their gestures. 

"So should we load him into Oz's van?" Xander asked very nonchalantly.

"Xander, have some compassion, Buffy's demon lover is dead. Be a little nicer.

"It's okay Cordelia, I understand where you guys are coming from. I really appreciate everything that you all have done. I'm ready whenever you guys are. But there is just one thing," Buffy paused for a minute. She reached into her jean pocket. She pulled out the object. She looked at it for a moment, fighting back the tears. "I want to put this into the casket, with him when we get there."

Willow put her arm around Buffy's shoulders. "Sure Buffy, we'll do whatever you want to do."

Buffy, Willow and Cordy followed Xander, Giles and Oz in Oz's van with Angel's casket. The drive was short and literally just up the street beyond downtown and close to the elementary school. 

Buffy was in her own world. She didn't know what to think or what to say. She just wanted to be home in her bed again. She wanted to be alone. She sat in the backseat and dazed out the window. She knew the ride was short but could barely believe they were entering the cemetery already.

After parking, the girls gathered to one side of the grave. Meanwhile, Giles, Xander and Oz carried the wooden box and placed it to the side of the grave. No one really knew where to start so silence filled the group of friends.

After a few moments, Buffy looked up. She walked over to the coffin and tried to lift the top up. Oz and Giles helped to lift the top up. Buffy was glad it was dark because she could not bear to look at the coffin that bared her former lover's body. She looked at the ring and then placed it in the casket. Buffy stood back as Oz and Giles put the lid back onto the rest of the wooden box. Willow placed her arm around her friend again. Cordelia also placed an arm around Buffy too. Tears fell freely from Buffy's eyes.

"I think I am ready to go now." Buffy said as she hugged both Willow and Cordelia.

Giles walked over to Buffy. They shared a brief hug before Giles spoke. "I insist that all of you stop by my place for some tea and coffee and some snacks. It's been a long day and you all need to rest for a while."

All of the Scoobies nodded their heads while still silent. Each of them thought about how nice it would be to sit with each other, even if they were sitting silence. They all had to be there for Buffy. 

Giles joined the girls as they drove back to his apartment. Oz and Xander slowly lowered the casket into the ground. Then they buried the casket and said their own good byes to Angel. Xander, although he never liked Angel, he was sad for his passing. He was saddened because Buffy, one of his best friends, was hurt and in pain. Oz, on the other hand had hardly known Angel. Angel changed shortly after Oz became a member of the gang. 

It was a good forty-five minutes after they had begun burying Angel's remains that they had finished. 

"Are you ready?" Oz asked.

Xander wiped the sweat off his face. Sweat was pouring down his face. "Yea, let's get out of here. We have to be there a little longer for Buffy. She needs us right now."

School reopened almost a week after they buried Angel. Buffy seemed to get a little better. Her mopping seemed to be decreasing and she actually went to the "Bronze" one night. 

Since returning to school the gang fell into a different routine. At the end of the day Cordelia drove Xander and Buffy home while Willow and Oz went home together. 

At the end of the week, Willow decided that she would walk home. She wanted to be by herself. She still blamed her for Angel's passing, even though Buffy assured her that she understood that she was just trying to help her.

Willow hit downtown before going home. She stopped at the magic shop. The shopkeeper recognized her.

"Ah, Ms. Roseburg, how are we today?"

Willow shook her head. "Not good. That spell didn't work."

"You tried a spell?"

Willow was frustrated. How could he remember her and not the spell she found. After all, he was amazed that Willow had that spell. He had told her that he always heard of the spell but had never seen it or knew of anyone who personally involved with it. 

"The spell that would bring life to the lifeless and soulless."

The shopkeeper looked at her sternly. "I knew that spell wasn't going to work." 

__

Okay- so I moved a little farther than I thought and ended with a cliffhanger. I know that there wasn't too much action but we have to go through slow parts to get to the more exciting parts. I may not post until this weekend but I will update ASAP. Please leave feedback, it is always nice to read. Hope you are enjoying the story thus far! Good night all!


	16. Chapter sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Willow was speechless. If he knew the spell wasn't going to work, why hadn't he warned her before she actually did it? "Why did you bother wasting your time telling me how to do that spell if you knew it wasn't going to work?" Willow asked angrily.

"I thought you would notice that you left one of the papers here." The shopkeeper explained. 

"W-what? No, you're wrong." She said. 

"Here it is, the page you forgot. I was waiting for you to come in and get it. What? What is wrong?" The shopkeeper said as he came out from behind the counter and stood next to a crying willow.

"I did the spell already. I did it and he died."

The shopkeeper was speechless. He hadn't known that she had already tried the spell. Know the teenager was completely in tears because she had killed her friend. 

Meanwhile, Willow felt even worse. She could have prevented Angel's death. He could have still been around and Buffy wouldn't be in so much pain. The shopkeeper's information made her feel so horrible, even more so than before.

The shopkeeper went back behind the counter and began looking at his library. He knew what he was looking for and wouldn't stop until he found it.

"I have decided I am not going to purse anything else with magic. I have hurt my best friend and I don't want to do anything like that again to anyone else." She proclaimed.

"Ms. Rosenberg, I believe that I have a solution." The shopkeeper said as he grabbed the gold leather bound book of the shelf.

"What do you mean? Do you have a spell that will make Buffy forget about Angel?" Willow stopped after the sentence escaped from her mouth. She couldn't believe what she had said. Willow interrupted the shopkeeper before he had a chance to explain. "No, did you hear what I said, I'm not perusing anything with magic. I'm through with it. I wan't nothing else to do with it. I-"

The shopkeeper interrupted her. I"I have a spell that can raise an undead, uh, dead person, and make them completely human again. It's an easy spell actually," the shopkeeper said as he read the spell. "Very simple in fact. I will give you the book if you wish."

Willow began to walk towards the door. She wondered if he was listening ot her. She had said she wanted nothing more to do with magic. She turned with her hand on the door and spoke. "I think I am all done with the magic. I don't want to make things worse. Thank you but-"

"Willow, this is your chance to wrong what you have done. It is a chance to make your friend happy again. If you used the old Gypsy spell to return the vampire's soul to his body while you were ill and in the hospital, you should be able to do this spell in your sleep." The shopkeeper explained. He walked towards her with the book. "Here, take this. If you decided to do the spell, that's great. If not, just keep the book."

Willow looked at the book before taking it. She said nothing as she walked out the door. She walked home. Her mind was made up. There would be no changing it.

"So, are we bronzing tonight?" Xander asked Buffy over the phone. 

I was thinking about it. I like dancing. Dancing is fun." Buffy commented as she made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"And it beats staying home by yourself and mopping." Xander added. He knew Buffy was still in pain and still hurt. He knew that she wouldn't be offended by what he said. "Plus, Oz's band is playing and Willow will want you to go. It'll be fun."

Buffy put down the sandwich and drank her milk. "Gee Xand, talk me into going why don't you? Yes, I'll go. We will have fun. The agenda says fun so fun we must have tonight."

On the other end of the phone Xander smiled. His friend was getting her since of humor back and that made him feel good. "That's the sprit. I'll call Wil and pick you up let's say nineish?"

"That will work. After the Bronze I can take a quick sweep on patrol and call it a night.

"So much fun and so little time, what will we ever do with ourselves? Up for some company with the patrolling?"

"Sure, I always say the more the merrier."

"All right then. I am going to call Wil, see you tonight."

"With bells on," Buffy said perky as she hung up the phone_. You put on a good front Summers, I almost bought it myself_, she thought to herself. She really wasn't in the mood to go dancing and have fun or be around people but she knew her friends were trying to make her feel better, so she thought she would make the effort too. She did want to mope just for a little while longer but she knew her friends didn't want her to so she had to be happy, peppy Buffy for them.

"Hey Wil, it's Xander, your bronzing with us tonight right? Oz is playing so I just figured you were in for tonight too. Let me know. Cordy, Buffy and I are heading over around nine. Let me know what is going on for tonight. Talk to you later." Xander said as he finished leaving his message on Willow's answering machine.

Willow sat cross-legged on her floor reading and rereading the spell in the book the shopkeeper gave her earlier that day. The spell seemed pretty basic and easier than the other spell she had performed earlier, but she didn't know if she wanted to try it. She worried about doing it wrong again or mispronouncing something. She worried about bringing Angel back as a zombie or something. She stared at the book until she made her decision.

_Okay, I know this chapter was short but what do you think? Please leave feedback!!! J _


	17. chapter seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Author's note: Thank you to X-identaty, katie, Tiney1981 and static-disturbed for your reviews. I hope you like the rest of the story! Please keep reading and reviewing! Any comments are very appreciated! 

My stories (this one and "As the World Turns" will be updated (hopefully) this weekend at some point. Although, due to working kind of late on Thursday night, my birthday on Friday, (buffygal**8880**, get it?) and family friends visiting over the weekend, I don't know how much I will be able to get done. Please don't forget to keep the reviews rolling in, it is very appreciated (and makes a great bday giftJ ). Happy reading kids!! 

The Bronze was crowded, as usual. It was jammed pack with people Buffy and Xander went to the club without Willow and Cordelia. When Xander called Willow's house, her mother answered and said she was sleeping. Cordelia wasn't at the Bronze because she was spending time with her other friends.

"This place is hopping tonight, isn't it?" Buffy observed.

"Well, the other cool hangouts in Sunnydale are closed for the night." Xander replied sarcastically.

The two found a table and sat at it. They sipped coffees and chatted about everything. They talked about everything from current movies to gossip around school before dancing. 

"Xander, this is weird."

"What is?"

"Well, here we are having a good time but where is Willow? Her boyfriend is in the band."

"She's sleeping Buff. I guess this is the first show of Oz's that she has missed since they started to date."

Buffy nodded. "I guess your right."

"Hey guys, where's Willow?" Oz asked when his band took a break from performing.

"She's in dreamland." Buffy said.

"She's slumbering at her house." Xander added.

The three continued to talk for a little while before Oz went back to the stage. Xander and Buffy then exited to begin patrolling.

"I can't believe Wil was a no show tonight," Xander commented to Buffy as they entered one of Sunnydale's finest cemeteries. 

"I know, it is weird. Did you try calling her before we left the Bronze?" 

"Yeah, her mother said she was still sleeping. "

Buffy sighed as she sat on a tombstone. "She has been so upset by everything with Angel, I don't know how to comfort her."

"Buffy, you are there for her when she needs to talk, there isn't much more you can do beyond that. So she thinks she killed him, so it was technically her fault, she thought she was helping. It's just going to take some time for her to get over what happened, just like it's going to take some time for you to get over loosing Angel."

Buffy looked into the distance. She could see the lights from businesses go off. She stared into the distance.

"Has Oz talked to her lately?" Xander asked.

'He said he talked to her last night and she was sad." Buffy answered.

"Well, I think-" Xander was interrupted by not one but two vamps. One had snuck up behind Buffy while the second one ran past the first and right to Xander.

Buffy meanwhile fought the large vampire who had embraced her. She fought him to the ground and then dusted him. The second vampire was fighting with a struggling Xander on the ground. As he went for Xander's neck Buffy dusted him too.

"Thanks Buff but do you think that you could warn me next time? The dust is all over me."

"Sorry. I will take into consideration all the dustage next time."

After two more sweeps of different areas of town, Buffy walked Xander home. She eventually had found her way to her own home. 

After showering and brushing her teeth, Buffy sat at her vanity. She picked up her journal and wanted to write down some thoughts. She opened up the blue velvet covered book. She sighed when there was only one page left. She would have to buy another journal soon. Buffy then put her pen down, push her vanity chair in and walked over to her bed with the book. She lay in bed and began to read the pages.

__

Tuesday March 18, 1996

WOW! I can not believe what is going on. I was walking out of school with Morgan and Danielle talking about the dance and Tyler a few days ago when this old guy comes out of now where and talks to me about how I have been chosen to kill the vampires?!?!?! I didn't get it. I thought he was one of those scary internet people you hear about on the news. I had no idea what he was talking about. Then, me being the stupid, stupid girl I can be sometimes went with him. Sure enough, we were fighting vampires, real true-life (in a dead sort of way) vampires! This is all way too much for me. What really is even more bogus is that I can't tell anyone about this! Not even Mom (she's a whole other subject…I think she and daddy are going to be getting a divorce soon. I can feel it coming. All they do is argue and-

Buffy had to stop reading that entry. It made her sad to think of her life in LA. That Buffy was so different compared to the Buffy in Sunnydale. LA Buffy was meek and so girly, not that Sunnydale Buffy wasn't girlie, she just got dirty a little bit more now.

Buffy moved on to another entry a few months later.

_Thursday January 29th, 1997_

So Mom and dad are getting a divorce. As matter a fact, mom and I are moving to a small little town called Sunnydale. This should be great. I am not looking forward to being a sophomore in high school and not having any friends. I guess I can't have any friends anyway, I'm the slayer. No one can know.

Speaking of the slayer thingy, Merrick _is dead. Some vampires killed him. I don't really like to think about it, it makes me too sad. I am trying to save all of these people but I couldn't save him. At least in Sunnydale I can put this whole LA thing behind me._

PS- We are also moving to Sunnydale because I sort of, kind of burnt down the gym. It was infested with vampires and stuff, it was my only choice. No one from school got killed, which is a good thing. Of course I can't tell mom why it happened. This Sunnydale place has to get better than this place. 

Buffy smiled reading that entry. She was such a naive girl, thinking Sunnydale had to be better than LA. It was better for the sake that she had better friends but the whole slayer thing she could have lived without.

_Monday February 5th, 1997_

_This whole Sunnydale thing is so bogus. I hate this stupid town full of stupid little people. I go to the new high school and figure I can a fresh start. I first met a girl named Cordelia. She was nice, in a stuck up, 'I'm in my own world' sort of way. She is nice enough to except me into her crowd, how mighty precious of her. Anyway, I also met this guy Xander, I think his name was, anyway, and he is so nice! He was kind of flirty with me and found one of my wooden stakes. I convinced him that it is the "in" thing in LA. He also had a friend named Jesse who was equally as nice._

Then there was Willow. She is nice but she is such a geek, I'm not saying this to be mean, it's just what she is. Oddly enough, she is best friends with Xander and Jesse. I think they are the rejects of the school. Actually, Cordelia kindly told me that they were the rejects of the school. If my friends in LA saw the types of people I was hanging out with they-they would-they would be so wrapped up in their own lives that they wouldn't care.

I don't care about what Cordelia Chase thinks of me or says, I really like Willow and Xander and Jesse, they are all very nice.

It's getting late so I guess that's all for-OH! I didn't mention the scary British dude who really freaked me out. On my first day of school I went to the library to pick up my schoolbooks. Once I told the librarian guy my name we got all weird and stuff. He pulled out this really, really old book about, of all things, VAMPIRES! This guy was so freaked me out. Total wiggins. I ran out of there so quickly. Turns out he is my new watcher! I can't believe this is starting again. I hate being me.

Friday February 9th, 1997

I just came back from a night at cool Sunnydale hangout, the Bronze. It actually was pretty cool. It was some club with a bunch of bands and lots of coffee. It was nice to go out and hang with my new friends (sadly minus Jesse of course). This guy keeps on popping up. He's mysterious and only appears at night and sometimes he has useful information for me about the vampires. I have no idea how he knows who I am. His name is Angel. He is such a hunk! Really, he is a babe! He has these dark chocolate eyes and these kissable lips, so cute! But I think he may be a little older than me.

Again, Buffy just smiled. She had so many expectations for Sunnydale. She wanted it to be so different but she was happy with the way it was turning out. Buffy got a tear in her eye as she read the stuff about Angel. She continued onto a more recent entry.

Saturday April 23rd, 1998

What a week from hell, literally. First, I was fighting with Angel and trying to kill him. Then he turned good, again but I still had to send him to hell. Less than ten minutes later he comes back and he's back to how he was before we, yeah. Before that I ran into school and found Kendra lying on the floor, dead because of Drusilla. Anyway, the Giles and Willow were both really hurt and in the hospital and then they are both suddenly better (I honestly thought that Giles, the man that I have come to know as my father figure, was going to die.). Then Willow found one of Ms. Calendar's spells that would make Angel's curse go away but still keep him good and as a vampire, or something. She did the spell without telling anyone. Now Angel is dead, for real. We buried him a few nights ago. I have never cried so much in my entire life as I did when we buried Angel. Grandma and Aunt Emma had both died and of course Jesse, Ms. Calendar and Theresa all have died but I wasn't in love with them, I loved Angel. Nothing will ever bring him back to me. When we buried him, I put the ring he had given me for my birthday (before everything we did) into the casket (Xander and Oz made the casket). The pain hurts so bad. It doesn't ever feel like it is going to stop. 

Poor Wil, she feels so badly for what she did. I do feel bad that the spell didn't come out the way that she wanted but I also feel bad because she hasn't been herself. She has so much guilt that I wish I could make go away. She tried to change him and make things better but it didn't work. I understand that. She is still one of my best friends and I still love her and I am so glad she is in my life.

The same thing with Xander. He did get mad at the hospital when he found out that Angel was alive, but he hasn't been mean about the whole Angel think since Angel died. He has been trying to cheer me up and trying to be positive for me. He is my other best friend. Both of them know so much about me and have helped me so much I don't know if I could ever repay them. I love them both more than I could ever begin to say.

I even love Giles. He is such a wise man (of course I would never tell him this to his face). He has opened up his heart to me, almost treating me like a daughter. I mean he treats me better than Hank Summers ever did. I can't believe that I thought he was an old creepy English man. 

Buffy smiled as she closed her journal and tucked it into her nightstand. She shut off the light and closed her eyes. She soon fell into her first deep sleep in a long time. 


	18. chapter eighteen

Chapter Eighteen

_Author's note: This portion takes place about six months after the last chapter. Trust me, things will come together! Also, this chapter takes place during what would be season three, however, Faith is not in this but Dawn is. _

"I think I'm going as a witch, get it?" Willow told Buffy while they were having lunch at Buffy's house. It was almost a week before Halloween and they were discussing the holiday.

"I think I am all done with dressing up and stuff. Do you remember last year? Oh, hold that thought," Buffy told Willow as she ran to get the phone. She picked it up after the second ring.

"Hello?" She paused for a minute. "Hello?" She said for a second time. She finally gave up and hung up the phone.

"Was that another hang up?"

"Yea, I wish they would stop, it's kind of annoying. Oh well, someone is just having fun around Halloween time, oh well. So anyway, where are you and Oz going on Halloween?" 

"Well, the Bronze is having this big costume party. Oz is playing a set with his band. Plus I figured that if we turned into our costumes this year I'd be all set as a witch. Xander and Cordy are going too. Oh, you and Scott could come with us. We could triple date. "

Buffy smiled at her friend's comment. The Halloween the year before was a nightmare and Buffy really wanted to be through with the whole dressing up thing. Willow did sound like she was going to have fun with the rest of their friends, and they all liked Scott. Buffy started dating Scott right before the school year started in August. They ran into each other at the mall and just talked. They began talking to each other on the phone as well as going for walks and eating ice cream together. They had been dating for three months. Buffy was very honest with Scott about a lot of things in her life but he didn't know she was a slayer.

"I would love too but can't. Dawn is coming to visit from LA that weekend. Mom is making me take her out. Scott is coming with us. Maybe we could meet you later on that night. I'll talk to Scott about it and see what he says. Maybe, we'll see. I'm not dressing up though. I can't believe the phone is ringing again." Buffy said as she answered the phone. "Hello? Hello? Listen, quit calling! This is incredibly annoying! Stop calling!" Buffy told the caller as she slammed down the phone.

"I guess you told them!" Willow said as she offered a smile.

Buffy and Willow sat down on the stools in the kitchen and continued to discuss their plans.

"So I'll pick you up around eight tomorrow night, right?" Scott had asked Buffy on the phone the night before Halloween.

"Yeah, I think so, yeah. We are going to have some Halloweeny-oh wait, I can't."

"Why can't you?" Scott and Buffy had wanted to watch some scary movies together on Halloween night but Buffy couldn't. Her sister Dawn's appearance went from visiting for the weekend to her moving in. Dawn had moved into her bedroom next to Buffy in the beginning of the week. Hank Summers had finally decided he wanted nothing to do with his former family life. He was moving to Spain with his much younger secretary. Unfortunately Dawn wasn't in his plans. Joyce had to work at the gallery and that left Buffy to take Dawn trick-or treating on the big scary night.

"I have to take Dawn out trick or treating. I completely forgot. Maybe we could do it this weekend?"

"No, that doesn't work for me. We are going to visit my family."

"How about you go trick or treating with Dawnie and I? We could still watch all of those movies after she goes to sleep. Okay, we may have time for just one movie before your curfew."

"I like the way you think Buffy Summers," Scott smiled on the other end of the phone. "Alright, What time do you want me over your house?"

"Um. What about fiveish? Dawn and I were going to order pizza and you can join us before we take her out. Oh wait a minute, Willow wanted us to go to the Bronze with her and Oz and Willow and Cordy. What should we do?"

"Well, what time is your mom coming home from work?"

"I think around seven, why?"

"Well, we could check out the Bronze and then go back to your house for the movie after your mom gets back. That way we get to do both things. How does that sound?"

Buffy smiled. "I like that idea."

Dawn struggled as she tried to do her own hair. She was dressing as a ballerina and wanted her hair up in a bun but she was having a hard time with it staying up. 

"Need some help?" Buffy asked.

"Yea. I guess." Nine-year-old Dawn Summers told her sister. "Thank you for taking me out tonight. I thought I'd have to miss Halloween too." Dawn said as she hinted towards wanting to talk about their parents' divorce.

"Dawn, you know that what dad did has nothing to do with you. He left all of us." Buffy explained as she began to wrap Dawn's long chestnut hair into a bun to place on her head.

"I know but how can he do that? How can he just decide that he doesn't love us any more?"

Buffy clipped Dawn's hair on top of her head. She then placed a wreath of baby's breath above her bun. "I don't know but I am really glad you're here." She said, offering a smile to her sister.

"You are?" 

"Yes, of course. We're family, you're my sister and I love you, no matter what happens with mom or dad or anything else. I will always love you"

With those words being said, Dawn turned around and gave Buffy a hug. " I love you too. Thank you and your boyfriend for taking me out tonight."

"It's our pleasure." Buffy was about to say something else but the phone rang. She ran into her room to get it, expecting another hang up call. "Hello?"

"Hi Buffy, it's me."

"Hey Scott, hi, what's going on? You missed pizza"

"I know and I am sorry. My mom really wanted me to stay home for dinner so I am going to miss the trick or treating part but I can meet you later to go to the Bronze and to watch the movie. I hope you're not too mad."

"I understand, and I'm not mad."

"Good, I don't want you to be mad at me. Tell Dawn that I'm sorry and that I'll bring her more candy from my house."

"She'll like that. So what time should you be over here?"

"Around eightish, is that all right?"

"That sounds great, I'll see you then. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone. She looked outside for a few minutes. It was almost sunset. The sky was radiant with bright pink, orange and purple colors floating around. She looked down at the kids who had started trick or treating. She was in a daze when Dawn came into the room.

"Is everything all right?"

"What? Oh yea, yea things are fine. Scott can't go with us but he's going to stop over later with some extra candy for you."

"Candy just for me?"

"Yea, he felt bad he couldn't come with us."

"Go me! More candy! Are you ready to go?"

"Yea, let's have some fun!"

"Who cares about fun, this candy should last me until at least Valentine's Day!"

The two sisters left and began Dawn's journey for candy. They were gone for only forty-five minutes when they had to return home. Dawn received so much candy that her bag almost broke. The entire way Buffy felt strange. She looked all around her. She knew Halloween was pretty quiet. Giles had told her for the last two years that vampires and demons hung low during the holiday but something still felt weird.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" Dawn asked noticing her sister acting extra cautious. 

"Nothing, I feel like someone is following us."

"There is no one following us."

"I know, it's just a weird feeling."

"And you said I was too young to watch the horror movies and you Scott are going to watch tonight."

"Yes you are."

"At least I'm not the one who is paranoid about people following me and looking over my shoulder all the time." Dawn laughed as they walked up to their block. As they got closer to their house Buffy saw a person sitting on their porch.

"Buffy, what's that?"

"I'm not sure. And you were making fun of who again?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Buffy, hi," Scott said stepping off the porch. "I came a little early. What's wrong? You look as if you saw a ghost." 

Buffy explained she felt as if someone as following her around that night and then she saw a person on her porch and couldn't make out who it was.

As they walked into the house, Scott handed over a Zip Lock freezer bad full of candy. "I hope you like these. I felt really bad about not coming with you tonight. I think it would have been fun."

Dawn took the bag and smiled. "This is awesome! These are the full size bars! I love peanut butter cups! Thanks Scott, you are so cool!" 

Dawn made her way upstairs to change as Joyce walked through the back door. She talked to the kids for a little while before Buffy and Scott left for the Bronze. Both Buffy and Scott had chose not to dress up. Scott thought he was too old to dress up for Halloween. Buffy just didn't want a repeat of last year to happen.

They joined Willow, Xander and Cordelia at a table while Oz was on stage. 

Willow and Buffy chatted for a bit while Xander and Cordelia danced. Scott saw guys he knew from school and talked to them until he and Buffy danced for a little bit. After about an hour and a half, Scott and Buffy walked back to Buffy's house to watch the horror movie, _A Nightmare on Elm Street._ Of course Buffy wasn't scared. After all she had seen in her years as a slayer, she wasn't scared of some middle-aged man in lots of make and in need of a good manicure.

"This is what I like about you." Scott said as they cuddled with each other on the couch. 

"What?"

"I like that you're girly but not too girly. You're so cool to be around. You're very normal."

__

If you only knew the half of it, Buffy thought silently to herself. She just smiled and rested her head back on Scott's neck until the end of the movie. Right after the movie Buffy walked Scott out to his car. They shared a quick kiss before he got into his car and drove home.

Buffy walked back into her house and closed and locked the front door. She was on her way to make sure the back door was locked too when the doorbell rang. _What did Scott forget? I don't see anything, _Buffy thought to herself as she walked towards the front door. She unlocked the door and turned the doorknob. "What did you forg-." She stopped midway of her sentence. She could not believe what was happening.

"Hi Buffy," said the man at the door. 

"Is that really you?" She asked unable to say his name.

"It's me." He answered simply.

Buffy walked slowly over to the man standing in her doorway. She placed her hand on his soft cheek. Tears filled her eyes. "Angel?" She finally managed to say in a disbelieving tone.

"It's me, in the flesh." Angel answered with tears in his eyes too.

Buffy walked towards Angel and just stared at him before he hugged her. Tears ran down his from his eyes and danced off his cheek as their embrace was broken.

"How? I mean? Angel, your warm." Buffy told him as she closed the front door and sat on the porch.

Angel stared at Buffy. The one true love of his entire human and vampire life was standing in front of him once again. He swallowed hard as he pushed back her blonde hair from her face. He matter a factly looked into her cloudy green eyes and said calmly said, "I'm human." 


	19. Chapter nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

__

Author's note: Thanks to Tiney81, _BTVS Afan1996__ and __X-identaty__ for thereviews, they are greatly appreciated!!! Thank you all very much! Please keep the reviews coming!! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Thanks again for reading!!_

Buffy left a note for her mother saying she went patrolling and that she would return later that evening. She picked up her house keys from the coffee table in the living room and left with Angel.

Silence filled the former lovers. There were so many unanswered questions that needed answers. Both Buffy and Angel wanted answers to the past six months but neither knew where to begin. 

The two strolled in and out of cemeteries and eventually ended in a park. Buffy sat on a swing while Angel stood to her left by the pole. They gazed at each other through the darkness. Neither one of them could see the other due to the darkness but that didn't matter. They knew the other was right there near by. Angel walked through the darkness and to Buffy. He knelt in front of her stopping her swing.

"Maybe we should talk."

Buffy nodded. Her body was numb. She dreamt of Angel being alive and coming back to her. She had also always dreamt of Angel becoming human again. They were dreams that she never expected to happen for real. Now, he was in front of her, alive.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked. "What happened to you?"

Angel stood up and began walking back to his pole. "I was sitting back at the mansion. I was reading. The next thing I knew I was on the floor in pain. It was all through my body. Then I blacked out. When I woke up I was in between worlds."

"In between worlds?"

"Yea, Purgatory. I was too good for a Hell dimension but not good enough for some type of heaven. I was told I had to prove myself to get into heaven." Angel paused for a minute before continuing.

"The worse part of being in between worlds was I could see everything that was going on here. I could see the pain you were in. I saw the night you buried me. I saw everything."

"Then you know how this happened, because of-"

"Willow, yea, I know. It wasn't her fault. She was just looking after her friend. She wanted to change things…make things better after us. Her heart was in the right place. I wasn't angry with her, especially since she did it again."

Buffy was astonished. Willow hadn't said anything to her about doing the spell for a second time. "What?"

Angel nodded. "Yea, that's why I am here standing in front of you. She did the spell again."

Tears danced from Buffy's emerald eyes and flowed to the floor. "So she just proofed and now you're here again?"

Angel walked closer to Buffy. "Yea, that's pretty much the abridged version."

"What else happened? Where have you been, it's been six months?"

Angel sighed. "Six months, two weeks and four days." He said offering a half smile. "I have had some time to do the calculations. Actually, I don't know when exactly I came back, maybe a few weeks ago."

Angel let out another sigh as he continued. "When the spell worked, I dug my way out of the ground. As soon as I reached the top, I was teleported to some unfamiliar place. The next thing I knew I was waking up in an unfamiliar place, in an unfamiliar bed. I felt odd, almost alive again. I had a suitcase with clothes, money and some papers. I was in Ireland."

"Ireland?"

"Yes. The hotel I was staying at was in the same place my family used to be, all those years ago. I walked around the city, not really knowing what to do. I ended up in an old cemetery and saw my family graves. I….I even saw my own grave, well, Liam's grave. I began to cry, I actually cried for the first time in over two hundred years, can you believe that? On my out, right before sunrise, an old gypsy woman came over to me. She told me that I was human. She said that the curse had been destroyed because the beast was dead. I was human. She also said I should compassion and love, everything a monster can't show."

"So that's it? You died a vampire and now your human? Is there a loophole?" Tears began to fall again from Buffy's face as she asked these questions. She wanted to believe that everything Angel was telling her was true but there was always some sort of exception to their relationship. Angel's story didn't make a lot of since to her. She didn't understand the whole transportation thing from southern California to Western Europe. Most of all, she didn't care about these things. All she cared about was Angel being alive and standing right in front of her again. 

Angel sat in front of Buffy. He took her hand and held it top his now beating heart. Tears rushed through both of their eyes and disappeared in the sand below the swing set. "it's true and," he paused. He had to stop talking for a moment. His voice was cracking as he tried talking again. "I'm human."

Buffy jumped off the swing and into Angel's arms. She still had so many questions. She could not believe that her Angel was back once more. 

For the following half-hour they remained quiet. Angel held onto Buffy like he was never going to let go. Finally, the both fell asleep.

Bright rays from the morning sunshine woke Buffy up. She turned to look at Angel and he was gone. _I knew this was too good to be true, I knew he wasn't really here, _ she thought to herself, but she sat up and focused on the swing set. Angel was right there, sitting on a swing, in the light.

"Good morning Mr. Sunshine, what are you doing?"

Angel smiled. "Basking in the sun. After so long I forgot what it was like to wake up in the sun. It's so warm, so gentle, so nice." 

Buffy stood up and walked over to Angel. He held out his arms and singled for her to sit on his lap. After Buffy sat down, Angel closed his arms around her and held her again like he was never going to let her go. 

"I like this?" Buffy smiled.

"Me too," Angel said, beaming.

As they watched people walking their dogs and jogging in the early morning, Buffy asked one of her many questions, "Where are you living?"

"I'm back at the mansion. I'm cleaning the place and fixing it up so it looks nice. The garden is going to be so nice, so beautiful, with lots of irises."

Buffy smiled as Angel remembered her favorite flower. Her smile faded as she got a confused look on her face. "Angel, now that you are human, exactly how old are you?" 

Angel held Buffy's hand in his. "I think my birth certificate said I was born twenty years ago so I am twenty, I guess." He began to laugh. " I don't know what twenty year olds do."

"Some of them work and some go to school, like college."

Angel nodded. He had a diploma and transcripts from high school in his bag that he found the morning he woke up in Ireland.

Buffy stood up as of she was startled. "Angel,. it's seven o'clock in the morning. We have been out all night, my mother is going to kill me."

"You could tell her that we were just talking."

Buffy began to laugh sarcastically for a moment. "Right. I'll just explain to her that you and I were just chatting, you know, I was chatting with, you, my ex boyfriend who was evil and tried to kill everyone I knew before trying to suck the world into hell before he turned good and died. But it's okay that you're back, your human now. I'm sure she would understand that." Buffy got serious for a moment. "I know that is too much for her to handle right now."

"So what are you going to do?" Angel asked now standing and moving towards Buffy.

"I-I don't know. Angel I am so happy that you are back and I am even more ecstatic that you are alive. When we first started dating I dreamt that of nothing else but you holding me in your arms as we did couple things, like picnics and walking along the beach, or to watch the sunrise with you. I wanted nothing more than for you to be human. I loved you, how you were…..but….. being human-…..I always wanted that. I love you with all my heart and soul. But we have to face reality, you have been gone for six months, then you were evil before that for three months, three weeks and four days, I had some time to do some calculations too. Things aren't like they were before. I don't know what to do."

Angel was both shocked and confused. He thought they were just talking about how to explain to Buffy's mother about the previous night. Now, they were talking about something completely different. "Buffy, what are you saying?"

"Things are different now Angel. I mean, you died. It took a lot for me to mourn and to get over-"

"And to move on." Angel said very matter a factly.

Sheepishly, Buffy answered. "Yes, to move on. Angel, it took almost everything for me to get over you. When you died, a part of me died with you. Now you're back and now I'm confused."

Angel wanted to yell at Buffy. He wanted to stress the fact he was alive and well and most of all, he was human. "Do you want some time to get used to this?"

"It would help. Angel, I care about you so much, I just don't know how to deal with this. I'm doing well in school, I may even make honors this term, my sister moved in with my mom and I and that's going well and I love having Dawn around, well most of the time, and-"

"And you have a boyfriend."

"How did you know that?"

"I could see you, remember? Also, I saw him leaving as I was walking to your house last night. I saw you kissing him so I figured that you and he were dating."

"Yea, you're right, and then there's Scott."

"You need time, I understand that. Buffy, I was over two hundred and forty years old before I died, I have waited a long time to be with the love of my life," Angel said walking away from Buffy, " I can wait a little while longer." With that being said, Angel walked away from Buffy and walked back to the mansion.

Buffy sat down on a bench and watched people. She watched couples and children walking around that Saturday morning. _Angel is really back, alive and human, _she thought to herself. 

Buffy started to get up and make her way home too. Her head hurt from thinking so much. She decided to focus on one thing as she began to walk home, and that was what to tell her mother about the night before.

  



	20. chapter 20

                                                Chapter 20

         Author's note: Sorry it has been so long. My computer is being so temperamental and the person who "fixed it" somehow deleted all of my files and Microsoft Word, go fig. Anyway, I am updating as often as I can. Please bear with me until my computer is all fixed and running perfectly again. Also, my school is really making graduation in May difficult at this moment so I have been fighting with them all week. Anyway, thank you to the X-identaty and Lex for your reviews. They are appreciated. Enjoy this chapter!  
  
        

        "Do you have any idea what time it is young lady?" Joyce Summers scolded her daughter. Before Buffy could get a word out, Joyce spoke again. "It's nine-fifteen in the morning Buffy. What happened? Where were you?"  


        "Mom," Buffy said trying to cut off her mother.  


        "I got up around three, three in the morning and saw your bed still made. I figured maybe you fell asleep on the couch but-"  


        "Mom-," Buffy tried again.  


        "And you weren't there. I figured maybe you had a hard night patrolling and that maybe you'd be home soon. At sunrise you still weren't home. Buffy, what is going on?"  


        "Mother!" Buffy managed to say again.  


        "Buffy, you told me you were out patrolling and I believed you. I doubt you were fighting vampires in the morning when the sun was out. Now, please explain. '"  


        "I was patrolling and lost track of time."  
        

        Joyce sighed. Her youngest daughter was still fast asleep in her room upstairs. Joyce didn't want to disturb her. "Buffy, I may not understand a lot about your duties as a slayer but I called Xander, Willow and even Mr. Giles. None of them saw you."  


        Buffy began to talk as she walked over to the couch. She slipped off her shoes and socks. She curled her body so it would fit on a full cushion. I did patrol for a little while last night. Then I did some talking and we talked for a while."  


        "Who? Who were you talking to?"  


        Very quietly Buffy sighed, "Angel."  


        Joyce sat down near her daughter and shook her head. "Isn't Angel-"  


        "Dead?" Buffy asked finishing her mother's sentence. "Willow did a spell and it worked. After Scott left last night, Angel knocked on the door. We left and he went patrolling with me. Well, we didn't really patrol, we talked for so long about so many different things."  


        "So he's?" Joyce began to ask not knowing how to finish the sentence.  


        "Alive. He's warm. His heart is beating. He is breathing. He can be in the sun." Tears formed behind Buffy's green eyes. Slowly, they began leaving her eyes and hit the seat cushion.  


        Joyce walked over to her daughter and hugged her. She didn't' know what else to say or do. There was nothing in any of the parenting books that dealt with, 'Your Daughter's Vampire Boyfriend Dying and then Turning Human.' There was literally nothing more she could do than to hold her daughter.  


        "What's going on?" Dawn asked as she got to the bottom of the staircase. "Buffy, you're wearing your clothes from yesterday."  


        "Buffy is fine sweetheart. She is just really tired. She is going to go back to sleep and rest. Do you want to have some waffles?" Joyce asked as she changed the subject.  


        "I'll be upstairs resting. Thanks mom."  


        "No problem sweetheart, just get some rest," Joyce said as she walked towards the kitchen where her youngest daughter was waiting for her breakfast.  


        Buffy closed the door to her room and walked towards her bed. Exhaustion took over her entire body. She fell asleep before her head even hit the pillow.  
  


        "Buffy! Buffy!" Dawn yelled as she opened her door. "Buffy, I made lunch for you. I made chicken noodle soup, with extra noodles, the one you like. Buffy, it's almost four, are you ok?"  


        Buffy sat up. She felt well-rested. "Thank you Dawnie."  


        "No problem. Willow called and wants you to call her back. Scott called too but he said he'd call back later tonight since he isn't home. Mom left too. She went to the store."  


        "Dawn, do you want to go with me to school? I have to meet Giles. I have to talk to him about something."  


        Dawn nodded. She liked Giles, especially since he usually had candy for her. "Do you have to train today?"  


        Buffy paused. Like most children, Dawn didn't know about vampires and demons. She thought Giles was her personal trainer. "Yeah, we have to train today."  


        Dawn left Buffy's room to clean up the mess in the kitchen and let her older sister get ready to leave.  
  


  


        "Hey Dawn, you can color in Giles' office. He has paper and you brought your markers. Why don't you make Giles another picture?" Buffy suggested. She just wanted Dawn out of the way so she and Giles could talk privately.  
  


        "Yes, I would love another one of your pieces of art work to hang in my office," Giles added.  
  


        Dawn smiled and skipped into Giles' office.  
  


        Giles and Buffy sat at the table farthest in the back because they didn't want Dawn to hear what they were talking about.  
  


        "What is going on?" Giles whispered.  
  


        "Angel is alive," Buffy said very matter a factly. Before Giles had a chance to question anything, Buffy explained the previous night to him.  
  


        "Dear lord, I have never heard of such a thing occurring. I have heard of raising demons but never anything like this situation. Bringing a vampire back, in human form, heavens, that has never been done before. Is he-," Giles paused. He didn't know how to finish that sentence. "Okay?"  
  


        "He's warm. He breaths. He can go into sunlight. Giles, Angel is human."  
  


        Giles didn't know what to say or do. He was in actual shock. "We have to call Willow and check out her spell. We have to know if anything could-"  
  


        Buffy interjected. "You mean, if there are any side effects or anything?"  
  


        Giles just nodded his head.  
  


        Without saying another word, Buffy stood up and walked towards the circulation desk. She picked up the phone. "Willow, come to the library now. We have to talk."  
  
  


        "Hey guys, what's up?" Willow said cheerfully as she entered the library.  


        "What spell did you use on Angel?" Buffy said cutting to the chase.  


        Willow was a little off guard. "Spell? W-what spell?"  


        "The spell that made him human," Giles added  


        "I-I did that spell months ago. I-" Buffy cut Willow off. "Willow, Angel is alive."  


        "WHAT?" Willow asked dumbfounded.  


        "Yes, he's been alive for six months. It's a long story, I'll fill you in later but yes, he's alive."  


        "What we have to do is research the spell to make sure it's the real thing," Giles added.  


        Willow smiled to herself. "The spell worked? I'm getting good."

        "Do you remember the spell?" Buffy asked.  


        "Oh yea, I have a copy of it in my bag. Let me get it."  


        "You've carried it around for six months in your bag?" Buffy asked surprised.  


        "Well, it's been in my bag since I did the spell. I just never took it out. Here you go," the red head explained as she handed the worn piece of paper to Giles.  


        For the next several hours, Giles, Willow and Buffy all consulted books and cross referenced different things.  


        "Dawn, would you like anything from the vending-," he walked into his office and saw Dawn fast asleep. Her head rested on Giles' desk. He quietly retrieved the books he had gone into his office for. On his way out he grabbed his coat and placed it on Dawn's shoulders.  


        After another hour of consulting books, Giles came up with his won conclusion. "I think the spell is legit. I think Angel is fully human."  
  


        Everyone was speechless. No one knew what to say. After all, it wasn't everyday a two-hundred and some odd old vampire dies and is resurrected as a human.  


        Buffy swallowed hard. "Willow you are an amazing witch. You are on your way on becoming a powerful witch. You have done two major spells that have worked on Angel. Thank you."  


        Willow walked closer to her best friend and hugged her. "Are you all right?"  


        "Yeah, I'm just a little shocked right now. I never thought we could be together, especially after that night and, well, now it may be possible. It's so strange. We could have a real life together. I can't believe it."  


        "Buffy, I don't mean to burst you bubble but aren't you forgetting something?" Willow asked.  


        "What?"  


        "Scott."  


        "I don't really want to think abut that right now. Giles, you believe this is for real, right? I mean, its loophole free?"  


        Giles took his glasses of his face and wiped them. As he placed them back on his nose, he began to explain his reasoning for why he thought the spell was the real thing. "Honestly, I don't know Buffy. From all the research we have done, I don't see a reason for the spell not to work."  


        Buffy nodded. "Good. I think I'm going to wake up Dawn and leave before it gets dark outside. I'll see you guys later."  
  


        "Hi Buffy, it's Scott, again. I'm sorry I have missed you again. I just wanted to say hi and hope that you are having a good weekend. I'll try calling you again tomorrow. I miss you. Have a good night, bye."  


        Buffy listened to the message for the fifth time. She couldn't stop thinking about Scot, and Angel. She liked Scott, a lot. He was very nice to her and he truly cared about her.  


        But Angel, she thought, I love him.  


        It was getting late and Buffy's head was spinning. She grabbed her journal and began to write in it:  


        _Okay, talk about a change of events. Last night Scott came over. He left and everything was fine for a few minutes. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. I answered it, thinking it was Scott. I opened the door and who was standing out there? Angel. Angel was standing on my porch. ANGEL! Angel, as in my ex vampire formerly evil, dead boyfriend who died. Yeah, him. Well, it turns out that he is alive and when I alive I mean breathing, heart beating, can go into the sun alive. I think I am in shock, just a little.  
Giles said he has never heard of anything like this before.  
I feel like I can't breath, I mean, Angel is alive! My heart is beating faster and faster. I have butterflies in my belly. I love Angel. Eh can be happy now and go into the sun. There is no curse, he is alive!  
Then, I feel guilty because there is Scott. I like Scott; he is a good, nice boy. I like him. I like Scott, I don't' love him.  
I love Angel and now it is possible for us to be together.  
_

        Buffy yawned as she put her pen inside her journal and placed her journal on her nightstand. She turned off her lamp and quickly fell asleep. 


	21. chapter twenty one

                                Chapter 21            
  
Author's note: I wanted to thank sandy-eco, jcangel, and X-identaty for their feedback and great reviews, thanks guys, you rock! I really appreciate the feedback, especially since things are not going well right now at school. It makes me smile to know that there are people out there actually enjoying my work! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter.  There will be one more chapter, an epilogue. Also, as always I own no one in the Buffy world.  
  
        The sky was a bright shade of baby blue. There were no signs of clouds anywhere. Golden rays of the warm sunshine shone down from the sky and hit the courtyard at Sunnydale High School. "How was your weekend?" Xander asked Buffy the Monday morning after Halloween. Xander had gone away with Cordelia to her family's house and was not around to hear the exciting news about Angel. 

        "It was long, too long. Xander, Angel is a live," Buffy said looking at the ground. 

        "What? That sounds like crazy talk. Are you having your dreams again?" Xander questioned as he sat next to Buffy on the bench.    

        "Yeah, I can imagine how that sounds. He showed up at my house Friday night." 

        "How can a vampire come back from the dead? Did someone raise him?" Buffy shock her head.

         "No, apparently Willow did a spell about six months ago and poof, he's back. He's alive."

         "I wouldn't call being a vampire being a live. There's that whole lack of breathing thing and no suntans." Xander tried to joke.

         "I know, but he's a live," Buffy paused for a moment before she continued.   "Xander, he's human."

         "What? Dead boy isn't dead any more? I don't get it." 

        "Neither do I. He is living and breathing and has a heartbeat." 

        Before Xander could get another word in, Scott approached him and Buffy. "Hey, hope I'm not interrupting anything," Scott said as he bent down to kiss Buffy's cheek. He had called Buffy several times over the weekend but Dawn had told him that Buffy was asleep or out with Willow or just not around.  


        Buffy knew what she wanted to say to Scott, she had wanted to say it for a while. She just didn't know how to say it until that time. On that beautiful Monday morning, she was ready. "No, you're not interrupting anything," Buffy paused for a moment before directing her attention towards Xander. "Xander, would you mind meeting me in the library before we go to class? I would like to talk to Scott about something." 

        "Sure Buff, I'll see you in a bit." Xander said as he picked up his backpack and began to walk to the library.

         "So you wanted a little alone time?" Scott asked moving closer to Buffy. He put his arm around Buffy as she twitched a bit. "Is everything okay with you?" Buffy sighed. She had to say what she was thinking then, otherwise the words would never come to her head again.

         "Scott, you are a great guy. I like you, a lot, you're a good friend." As Buffy began to talk, Scott took his arm from around Buffy and placed it by his side. He looked at the ground as she continued talking to him. He knew what was coming. He knew eventually they would have this talk. "I don't think this is going to work out. I have some things going on in my life right now. I'm confused about a lot of things and I really need some time." 

        "I can give you time. Just tell me how much time you need. Buffy, I'll wait for you. I really like you. I-I think I may even love you," Scott admitted as he knelt in front of the bench that Buffy was sitting on. 

        Buffy smiled. She was touched. "Scott, I will always like you as a friend, I just don't want to be in a relationship now and I don't know when I will want to be in one. I do care about you, but this isn't working out. I'm sorry. We can still be friends and hang out together and do things together." Scott nodded his head. He loved Buffy. He always knew that she didn't love him. She always seemed distant and distracted. She never really focused on him. Scott thought that he could make Buffy love him. He now saw that he couldn't. There was nothing to make Buffy love him. "Yeah, friends, right. I have to get going; class is going to start, well, in fifteen minutes. I-I have to go. I'll talk to you later," Scott said as he walked away from Buffy. Buffy watched as Scott walked away. She felt bad that Scott was feeling so sad but at the same time, there was nothing she could do. She didn't want to lead him on any more; it wasn't right or fair to him. There was another whole side to her that Scott just didn't know and could never know.  
  


        Thanksgiving had come and gone. It was very busy in the Summers' household. Joyce, Buffy and Dawn hosted dinner and invited Willow and Xander's families as well as Giles. Joyce wanted to invite Angel but Buffy refused. She still had not seen him since Halloween weekend. She didn't feel like she was ready to face him.  


        The weekend following Thanksgiving, Buffy walked over to Crawford Street. She was ready. The sun was still out but it was getting ready to set. The sky would soon open with bright oranges and reds. Buffy stopped as she stared at the old mansion. It was no longer old and fragile. It was remodeled and quite beautiful. The outside was washed and now clean. New windows were installed. From the front of the house, Buffy saw solid colored curtains in the windows. Flowers surrounded most of the front lawn and led up to the front door. A porch was in the process of being built.  


        Buffy made her way to the back of the house. Irises grew all around, like Angel told her weeks before. Buffy spotted Angel sitting in a chair at a table in the side yard. The once dark area was now quite bright. The ground that was once cemented was now grass in some areas. Angel's back was towards hers as she watched him as he read. She quietly approached him.  


        "Is it a good book?" She asked.  


        Angel was surprised to see her standing before him. "Yeah, it's pretty good. What brings you by?" He asked putting the novel away.  


        "Wow, you're very to the point. Why are you all moody?"  


        "Yeah, sorry, I haven't seen you for three weeks; I was kind of thinking that it was random that you stopped by."  


        "Angel, I-"  


        "Buffy, don't even try it, please. I realize that you have a life and it went on after I died. It was selfish of me to think that you wouldn't move on. You're beautiful and young and I don't know why I thought your life would stop after I died. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I just wish that things would go back to the way they were."  


        Buffy was confused. "Angel, it did go on after you died. I loved you with all of my heart and soul. I did date again, but that wasn't because I forgot you or wanted to move on, it was because I had to. I had to move on. Now you're here and I am ecstatic about you being back. You are back in my life, alive!"  


        "That's great Buffy but like you said, you've moved on. You have a whole new life now. I realize that six months is a long time."  


        "It's not all that new. There was just Scott, but we broke up. I couldn't be with him anymore."  


        Angel got up and got serious. He began walking slowly over to Buffy. He was concerned. "Did he ever hurt you or anything like that?"  


        Buffy shock her head. "No, he was really good and sweet to me but I couldn't be with him when my heart was telling me no. My heart doesn't love him," she explained as she walked towards him. She touched his check. "My heart is telling me I love you."  


        Angel looked directly into the setting sun. He wanted to do nothing more hold her in his arms but he couldn't, at least not at that time. He calmly pulled out another chair and said, "Please sit down, I think we need to talk."


	22. Epilogue

                                Epilogue

Author's Note:  I want to thank everyone for reading this story, especially those of you who have stuck with the story from the beginning.  Thank you all so much!  I also want to thank Kristine, jcangel, Soraya, X-identaty and Sandy-eco, I appreciate your reviews and all of your kind words.  

        I hope you all enjoy this last chapter!  I am also still working on my other story, "As the World Turns."  Hopefully there will be other stories ahead!  Thanks again!

        Just another note, this story takes place seven years from the last chapter.

        "But Buffy, we can't start without you."  Sixteen year old Dawn argued with her sister on the phone.

        "Dawnie, I just got out of my client meeting, I am going to be late.  Just start dinner before I get there."  Buffy explained as she climbed into her maroon Ford Bronco. 

        "We're not starting without you.  Just get here when you can."  Dawn told her sister as she hung up the phone.

        Buffy received her bachelor's degree in interior design from UC Sunnydale two years earlier.  When Dawn had called her, she was leaving her biggest client, singer Lorne Caritas.  Lorne liked Buffy but not her designs.  Their forty-five minute meeting turned into over two hours.  They both agreed on something loud and bright for his new bedroom.  Buffy was stepping outside of her box to keep this huge star as her client.

        It would be over twenty minutes until she arrived at her mother's house.  Buffy was so hungry that she couldn't wait.  She pulled over to a fast food drive through to buy something for her empty stomach.  She had been getting cravings for food that she never liked since she became pregnant.  She and her husband of exactly two years were thrilled when they found out they were expecting a child.

        As she ate and drove down the high way, she was realized that she was not on patrol that night.  Another slayer had come to Sunnydale after Buffy got married.  Her name was Faith.  She was about fifteen years old and tough. She was a tomb boy but yet had a sexy girlie quality to her.   Faith would take over patrolling for good once she turned sixteen.  She and her watcher, Charles Gunn worked hard together. Giles would then do research for the council.  He would also train Buffy to do the same type of research.  

        Buffy finally pulled into her mother's driveway almost an hour and a half later than she planned.  She hopped out of her car and walked towards the balloons that were tied to the porch. 

        "Hello, I'm here," She said as she walked through the front door.  

          "Hi honey," Joyce smiled as she hugged her daughter.  "Long day?"

        "Arg! It was the hardest!  But Lorne Caritas was really nice and is offering me a good amount of money so things aren't so bad.  Did you do your surprise news thingy yet?"

        "No, she wouldn't do it because she wanted you to be here," Dawn explained as she gave her sister a hug.  "Plus, tonight is for you and your husband too.  Go, get some food, talk to your husband, celebrate your anniversary, then Mom can share her good news."

        Buffy grabbed a plate from the dinning room and worked her way down the table loaded with food.  She walked over to Willow and chatted with her for a bit.  

        "Hey you," She beamed as she felt her husband's strong arms close around her.

        Her husband returned her smile.  "Hey, how are you?"

        "Better, you're here.  How was work?"

        He made a face.  "It was work, lots of angry investors because their stock went down.  It was long but much better, especially since I'm with you."  He smiled again.  "Oh, yeah, I worked on the baby cradle, I'm almost done."  He enjoyed making furniture.  He also made Buffy and Faith's stakes for patrolling.

        "Wait a minute," Willow interrupted as she began to whisper.  "Baby cradle?  Buffy, you're not even through your first trimester are you?"

        She nodded.   "No but he's been so excited since we found out.  The second trimester starts in a few days."

        "Buffy, I wanted to make the announcements now, are you ready?"  Joyce asked her daughter as she took her by the hand and led her to the living room.

        Buffy smiled as she looked at her husband.  Everyone she loved was in her mother's living room.  Willow was cuddled up to her husband, Oz; Xander was sitting with his new wife Cordelia on his lap.  Giles was standing by the mantel chatting with Gunn.  Faith was sitting on the couch chatting with Dawn about school gossip.  Yes, everyone she loved was in that room.

        "Can we I have your attention please?"  Joyce said loudly.  "We have a lot of news to share in this room, so let's start."  Joyce smiled.  "I think I will go first."

        "I know what she is going to say," Dawn said out loud.

        "Yes Dawn you do know," Joyce paused before continuing.  "Rupert and I are getting married!"

        Buffy was shocked.  She was extremely happy for her mother and her father figure but she was shocked.  "Mom, that's great!  I'm so happy for you!"  She said as she went from hugging her mother then to Giles.

        After a few moments, Buffy stood up as her husband's strong arms wrapped around her again.  "We would like to tell everyone that we are having a baby!"

        Everyone jumped up and down.  Willow was the only one who knew other than Buffy and her husband.  

        After Willow hugged Buffy she announced her own news.  "Oz and I are adopting a child.  We're going to China in a few weeks to pick her up."  Willow explained happily.  Again, everyone jumped up and down and hugged her.

        "I feel like we should be having a kid," Xander told his new wife.       

        "Xander, we haven't even been married for six months. Let's be alone for a while.  Then when we're ready we can try.  Plus, there's always fun in the trying part."  Cordelia explained.

        "Sometimes you do make sense.  I love you," Xander said as he shared a quick kiss with his wife.

        "We'll get the car in the morning.  We're just walking home now.  Congratulations Mom," Buffy said standing in her mother's doorway.  

        Joyce placed her arms around her oldest child.  "Thank you Buffy.  And congratulations to you too," she said as she put her hand on her daughter's stomach.  "I can't wait to meet my new grandbaby!"

        Before Buffy could answer, her husband asked if she was ready to walk home.  She nodded as she gave her mother, Dawn and Giles their hugs.  

"I'm glad we walked.  I like spending time with you."  Buffy said as she held her husband's hand.  They walked into their house on Crawford Street.  Buffy placed her keys next to the vase of irises on the kitchen island.  Everything was dark in the house.  He turned on the lights as Buffy made her way up to their bedroom.  She wanted to put on her pj's and got to bed.  She was really tired.

        After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she crawled into bed.  Her husband did the same thing.  He wrapped his arms around her as they lay in bed.

        "What are you thinking about?"  Buffy asked.

        "Us.  Our family.  Everything that has happened since-"

        Buffy sat up and shook her head.  "No, don't do this again, please."

        "Buffy, after everything that has happened; I still don't know how I ended up with you.  I don't know how I got so lucky," he proclaimed as tears fell down his eyes.  "I'm so thankful to you, to your mother, Giles, everyone."      

        Buffy took her husband and cradled him in her arms.  She loved him with all of her heart and soul, as he did her.  They always had, since they first met.  "Angel, what happened all those years ago is over.  You're married, twenty seven years old and have a baby on the way.  You are an incredible friend and an incredible lover"

        "That's not the point.  I feel so much remorse about what I have done, what I have put you through and our family, I-"Angel paused for a moment.  "I don't understand how I got so blessed to have you in my life.  I love you Buffy Anne Summers-McCarthy."

        Buffy gave Angel a kiss and lay back down.  She thought she lived the perfect life with the perfect people.  She said, "I love you too," before curling into Angel and falling fast asleep.


End file.
